Rosemarie Hauer's SUNLIGHT
|
CHAPTER FOUR  This is like coming home, Catherine thought as she reached the tunnel floor at the base of the iron ladder. She turned and headed for the corridor beyond the brick wall and quickly made her way to the home chambers. She didn’t need a guide anymore, a fact that made her secretly proud. She cherished her independence, because she disliked the thought Vincent might feel obliged to come and guide her below every time she tapped out her code over the pipes. He was still distant and withdrawn, but at least he was around again when she came for a visit. The only thing that still stung a little was that he avoided being alone with her, but she decided she could live with that — for now. The tunnel air was carrying the scent of autumn, even that far below ground, and Catherine inhaled deeply, savoring the blend of earth and smoke and stone, a fragrance that made her feel safe and at home. When she neared the study, she picked up a sound she couldn’t remember having heard before. Vincent was laughing. Her heart went wide with emotion and she wondered what might have brought on the rare occurrence. She paused on top of the small staircase and looked down at the assembly around Father’s octagonal table. Opposite Vincent sat a man Catherine hadn’t met before. He was tall and his curly hair was showing the first streaks of gray. He gesticulated with his large hands as he related a story that obviously held Vincent and Father spellbound. They didn’t even notice her presence until she made the first step to descend the stairs. The three men turned their heads and rose from their chairs in greeting. Catherine met the stranger’s eyes, noticing they were of a similar intensity as Vincent’s. “Joshua, this is Catherine,” Father introduced her. “She is one of our helpers and a faithful friend.” Catherine glanced over at Vincent who held her gaze for a moment before looking at Joshua again. “Catherine, this is Joshua,” Father continued. “He is a dear friend and helper of many years. He even lived down here for a while.” Vincent pulled out a chair for Catherine and everyone took their seats again. “That was a long time ago,” Joshua said, and Catherine thought that she liked his voice. There was something familiar about this man, but she couldn’t put her finger on what it was. It was probably the kind of familiarity she was feeling with most people down here. They were one large family. “Once you’ve lived here, you’ll always come back,” Joshua continued and Catherine caught him studying her intently. “That’s very understandable,” she replied. “This is an amazing place.” “Inhabited by amazing people,” Joshua added and she followed his gaze as he looked over at Vincent. “So what exactly are you going to look for,” Father asked, obviously resuming the conversation from before. “Joshua is planning on going to the Crystal Cavern,” Vincent explained. Joshua nodded. “I’ve been addicted to crystals ever since the first time Vincent took me to the Crystal Cavern,” he said. “Quartz crystals are a fascinating subject. Whenever I run out of energy or perspective, I turn to my crystal friends.” “Is that the reason why you are here now?” Vincent asked quietly. Joshua nodded gravely. “Please tell me if there’s anything I can do to help,” Vincent offered. “Actually,” Joshua said, straightening in his chair, “I would like it if you came with me, my friend.” Catherine watched as Vincent stared at the backs of his hands, obviously pondering his reply. “Of course I will,” he said at last. “It is a long and arduous journey and it’s not advisable to make it alone.” “Joshua!” They all turned at the sound of Rebecca’s voice and Joshua rose to go to her and enfold her in a gentle bear hug. “As beautiful as ever,” Joshua said, lifting her off her feet before releasing her again. Catherine noted that Rebecca took Joshua’s hand as they walked over to the table, taking a seat. When she looked over at Vincent, she saw a wistful smile on his face. He became aware of her furtive scrutiny and instantly his features sobered. “I was madly in love with Joshua,” Rebecca explained lightheartedly. “He broke my heart when he left to become a priest.” “You are a priest?” Catherine asked in surprise. “Not anymore,” Joshua replied with an enigmatic look. “I finally chose a different way to serve God.” “There is no better way of serving God than to remain true to your own self,” Father interjected, and Catherine thought she detected parental pride in his eyes as he regarded Joshua fondly. “Joshua built a shelter for homeless people, especially children,” Vincent pointed out. Joshua’s features darkened. “Unfortunately our shelter is about to be closed.” Slapping the tabletop with his palm, he rose to his feet stared off into space. “Many precious people who are this close to regaining their place in life would be left with nothing. I can’t let that happen.” Vincent stepped up to his friend and placed a soothing hand on his shoulder. “It won’t happen, Joshua. We will find a way.” “We will,” Catherine joined in. “I’m sure I can do something to direct money your way.” Joshua turned to look at her. “It isn’t so much money we’re lacking, Catherine, although it is an issue too. It’s the authorities who suddenly take an interest in us, and that’s always a bad sign.” “Who exactly is bothering you?” Catherine inquired. Joshua shook his head. “We don’t know yet, but I have every intention of finding out.” “I’ll help you,” Catherine offered. “I’m with the district attorney’s office and I’m....” Joshua stopped her with a weary gesture of his hand. “Thank you, Catherine, but that won’t do much good. It’s me they want. I’m not able to work under my real name. I’ve broken several of their laws in order to help people they think I shouldn’t have helped. I don’t think turning to the district attorney for support would be the right thing for me to do — under the circumstances.” Joshua’s body language made it very clear that he didn’t intend to elaborate on those circumstances, at least not at the moment, so Catherine decided a change of subject might be in order. “I would love to see the Crystal Cavern some day,” she said. “It’s an incredible experience,” Rebecca replied. “I would like to go there again as well.” “So why don’t you join us?” Joshua offered. From the corner of her eye Catherine saw Vincent flinch. It was a barely perceptible movement, but it stung. “I’m not sure if I can take time off at the moment,” she said evenly. “But can’t you try at least?” Rebecca urged. Catherine glanced over at Vincent, but he kept avoiding her eyes. When she looked up, she caught Joshua’s gaze. “It would be a pleasure to have the ladies with us, wouldn’t it, Vincent?” he said without taking his eyes off Catherine’s face. She thought she detected a mischievous twinkle in their blue depth and smiled. “Thank you, Joshua,” she said. “I would certainly love to come with you.” “It’s a journey that takes several days,” Father reminded him. “Are you certain it won’t be too much for Catherine and Rebecca?” “I’ve been there,” Rebecca replied. “And even though it requires a lot of walking and climbing, it’s worth it. The Crystal Cavern is truly a magical place.” Turning to Vincent, she added, “That’s true, isn’t it?” Vincent straightened in his chair and cast Joshua a quick glance across the table. “It’s true,” he replied to Rebecca at last. “It is a magical place.” Catherine felt her breath catch in her throat as his gaze met hers. She wasn’t sure how to interpret his look, but for the first time in weeks she was filled with hope. It didn’t matter that Vincent wasn’t exactly happy about this arrangement, he hadn’t objected to it either. “I can’t wait to see it,” she said, thinking that magic was probably exactly what they needed. * “Vincent?” Vincent straightened at the sound of his name and rose to his feet. “Please come in, Joshua.” Joshua entered the chamber and looked around. “Fortunately the really good things will never change,” he remarked with a contented sigh. “This place still feels like home.” “You will always have a home here,” Vincent replied, studying his friend attentively. Joshua crossed the room, searching for Vincent’s eyes. “I hope I didn’t overstep any boundaries by inviting Catherine to come with us,” he said with concern. “I know I shouldn’t act on impulse, but seeing you two — feeling the vibes between you — was simply too good to ignore.” Vincent lowered his eyes and stared at the floor, gathering his thoughts. “I wasn’t aware it was that obvious,” he confessed quietly. Joshua took a seat, looking up at his friend. “It’s not obvious to anybody, Vincent, but it’s a palpable thing for me. I know you. I know what it is like when you build walls around yourself in order to protect others.” Vincent settled in a chair opposite Joshua and glared at him wordlessly. Joshua smiled. “Tell me, Vincent, is she really in need of protection?” Nodding slowly, Vincent looked down at his long, claw-like nails. “You know she is.” Reaching across the table, Joshua covered Vincent’s hand with his. “That’s nonsense, Vincent, and you know it. Catherine cares about you deeply. Don’t push her away because you are afraid of yourself.” Vincent withdrew his hand and jumped to his feet, starting a restless pacing. “She saw me, Joshua. She saw me kill. I thought it was behind me, but I did it again.” “To save her life,” Joshua guessed correctly. Vincent stopped and drew a deep breath. “Yes, but...” “Vincent, don’t do that to yourself,” Joshua interrupted him. “And to her. Catherine made her choice a long time ago. She chose not to turn away from her feelings for you, and you shouldn’t do that either.” Vincent stood motionless for a long while. He didn’t dare consider Joshua’s point of view. He didn’t want to think at all. Finally he turned and sat down again. “What about you?” he asked. “What is the real reason why you are here?” Joshua held Vincent’s gaze firmly. “Because I’m afraid of myself, too.” Vincent leaned forward in his chair, regarding his friend of many years intently. “What happened?” he asked, frowning in concern. Joshua sighed. “To kill somebody always destroys a part of yourself, no matter how much they seem to deserve it.” “Tell me,” Vincent urged quietly. “It was during my time in cared to learn. It was a tough place. We had to be on guard all the time. The government wasn’t too fond of institutions like ours.” Joshua pushed to his feet and started an agitated pacing. The bad thing is we never knew who the guys were that came to our mission, interrogating us for hours on end. They devastated the houses, pretending to search for something. We let them, because they usually left without hurting anybody. One time, though, I awoke to gunfire and the smell of burnt wood. They came down the hill, soldiers with machine guns, and fired at everything and everyone. They killed women and children without even looking twice. I....” Joshua’s voice broke and he stood there with heaving shoulders. “I could do nothing to prevent the killings,” he continued hoarsely. “They got me and restrained me, making me watch what they did to the women. I don’t know how, but in the end I broke free. All I had was a knife and the gun I took from the first man I killed. The gun was empty all too soon and I continued with these hands...” He raised his hands in a gesture of defeat, staring at them unbelievingly. “I. ..killed as many as I could. It was like a trance, I was intoxicated with fury, as if their mindless brutality had carried over into me. I didn’t even feel the injuries they inflicted on me. Only when they left me lying there, thinking I was dead, did the pain set in. I can’t remember most of what happened after that. I certainly would have died if not for a woman from the village who found me and nursed me back to health. Delia...” His features softened as he said her name. Vincent’s heart ached at the tenderness in Joshua’s voice. “What happened to her?” he asked apprehensively. Joshua straightened and inhaled sharply. “I don’t know. I never saw her again. I left the village to search for the men who were responsible for the destruction of the mission. Needless to say, I didn’t stand a chance. When I came back, the village was deserted. No one was left who could have told me what happened to the people there.” With a strangled sob Joshua slumped into a chair, curling his fingers into fists as he fought back tears. “We didn’t hear from you in a very long time,” Vincent said. “You seemed to have disappeared from the face of the earth. Joshua nodded wearily. “That was my intention. I had made powerful enemies when I tried to find out what exactly had happened and why. There was no way of leaving the country legally, so I had to find ways to circumvent the law. I returned to “And a new mission,” Vincent added softly. Joshua nodded. “To work for those in need was the only way to deal with the horror and the pain. It worked for a while until they tracked me down.” “Who is ‘they’?” Vincent asked. Joshua shook his head. “I wish I knew. All I know is that they have friends in high places even up here. The best I could do for the mission was to disappear for a while.” He straightened in his chair. “You know what frightens me the most? That I have it within me to hate that much. I would go out there and...” “And kill again?” Vincent provided quietly. Joshua didn’t respond, he just stared down at his hands. “You know all the while I lived and worked there far away from home, firmly believing God had entrusted those people into my care to help them and protect them. And then...” He buried his face in his palms and Vincent could see that his shoulders were shaking. He rose and walked over to Joshua, kneeling down beside him. “You think you failed those people.” Joshua straightened abruptly and Vincent was startled by the sudden ferocity in his eyes. “Do you want to know what I think, Vincent? I think God failed those people. How can He let things like that happen to innocent people? How can He allow evil to roam the world, inflicting so much torment on the defenseless?” Hiding his face in his hands again, he added, “That realization is the worst pain of all.” “You lost your faith,” Vincent stated, placing a comforting hand on Joshua’s shoulder. “But nothing is really lost if you don’t lose heart.” Joshua heaved a ragged sigh. “Maybe it’s too late for that.” Vincent looked up into his friend’s tear-streaked face. “I’m glad you finally came to us,” he said softly. “You need time to heal and to rest.” Joshua rose to his feet. “The bad thing is we never know how much time we get,” he replied before he turned to go, leaving Vincent to his thoughts. |
.
Return to Sunlight's Table of Contents