Chapter 6
Late in October, Vin came to Chris with information. "They saw him in Vista City three days ago. He visited his...relative, and bought supplies; they figured he must be gonna live rough for quite a while from what he bought. He’s gone now. We’ll have to wait until the next time he shows; my...help over there didn’t get it clear that we needed to know right away." Vin smiled a little. "He knows now, though."
Chris said nothing for a minute, then, "Thanks. I’m gonna pass on the news to someone who...well, thanks." He touched Vin lightly on the shoulder before he turned away.
********
"Thought you might want to know
that Josiah’s still around here. He was seen in Vista City three
days ago. He bought a lot of food and stuff; looks like he’s plannin’
to live rough somewhere for quite a while."
Mary stopped breathing for a long moment. Her face was white when she spoke. "He’s gone to the cave. I know it. Will you take me there, Chris? Now? Oh, please, right now?" Her voice broke on the last words, and tears made further talk impossible.
"Not now, it’s too late today, but be ready at sun-up in the morning. I’ll be here." Chris smiled his little crooked smile and reached out awkwardly to pat her shoulder. "Don’t cry now, Mary. It’s gonna be all right."
*******
Chris refused to leave her until
they knew that Josiah was at the cave. "If he’s not there, what’ll
you do?"
"I’m not helpless, Chris. I can take care of myself. I can get back to town alone if I have to. But I won’t have to; he’s there. I know it."
When they were half a mile away from the cave Chris reined his horse to a stop. "You were right. I smell smoke." He smiled at the look on her face as she turned her head quickly to sniff the air. "I’m gonna leave you. He’s here all right. I thought he was all along. You were so sure, seemed like he just had to be."
"Thank you, Chris. I can’t thank you enough for what you’ve done for me...for us, I hope. Oh, I hope…" She reached out to touch his arm, then turned her horse and rode up the trail, not looking back.
*********
She tied her horse to the rail at
the little corral and walked the rest of the way, stumbling once or twice
on the dark trail. When the fire came into view she stopped,
panting a little from the climb, her breath visible in the late autumn
air.
He was sitting by the fire, facing the cave entrance, his profile toward her. He sat cross legged, his hands on his knees, his back straight, his eyes shut. He spoke without opening his eyes. "Buenos noches. You’re welcome here. Come up to the fire, it’s chilly tonight. There’s stew in the pot if you’re hungry, friend. Be welcome."
"Josiah?"
He had been sitting still, but when she spoke he stopped breathing; his stillness was absolute.
"Mary?" It was a breath of sound only. His eyes opened, and he turned them slowly toward her.
She tried to smile at him. "I’m right here."
He unfolded his long body, stood up, and took a step toward her, then another, and then she was in his arms. He embraced her lightly at first, but his arms tightened and continued to tighten until he clasped her to his body with all of his strength. His face was buried in the warm space between her neck and her shoulder, and he held her for a long minute without movement or speech, his breathing slow and deep. Then he turned his head until his lips found her neck. She felt his kiss there, and a soft trail of kisses over her neck and chin to her mouth. His kiss was without passion; only tenderness and love were manifested in the touch of his lips.
When he spoke his voice was a whisper. "You came. You came to me...."
He raised his head to look into her face. "Mary...my sweet love…don’t cry, love...Mary... amada mia....don’t cry." He kissed her cheeks, kissing away her tears.
Smiling shakily up at him, she whispered, "Don’t you cry, love," as she also kissed away tears.
"Come to the fire." With an arm around her, he moved with her to the fireside. She followed, willing to accept his lead, but puzzled by his passionless reception. She remembered so clearly the last time they had come together, also after a separation, one not nearly as long. His mouth had devoured her, they had struggled frantically to bare themselves for each other. But not this time. Uneasiness turned to anxiety as she thought: Is he going to send me away?
She sat down in her accustomed place. The flames leaped up between them as Josiah laid fresh fuel on the fire. The aroma of coffee drifted from the pot set just close enough to the coals to keep it hot. The dancing light gilded his curly head as he moved, tending the blaze. It was all so familiar, so much the same.
The surroundings were well-known and well-loved, but Josiah’s demeanor mystified her. Anxiety drove her to ask immediately for reassurance. "I...Josiah, I don’t understand…you seem so different…" She needed to see his face for a clue to what he was thinking, but his head was turned away.
She had to know. She blurted, "Are you going to send me away?"
He looked up at her from his task at the fire, and as he gazed at her his eyes told her that he adored her still. When he spoke his voice had that deep soft timbre that she loved, that he used when he uttered love words. "I’m never going to send you away, Mary. Unless you tell me that you were mistaken about loving me and that you don’t want me, I’ll never let you go again."
She was dumbfounded. "No…no, of course I wasn’t mistaken. I adore you…you know I…Josiah, what’s happened?"
He sat down across from her. He said nothing for a few moments, staring into the fire. Then he raised his eyes to hers with that serious level gaze that she loved. "I’ve been forgiven. The penance is paid. I’m free."
She closed her eyes for a moment, as a silent prayer of thanksgiving went up from her heart. If you’re there and you heard the prayers of one who isn’t even sure of belief, thank you…oh thank you. For she had prayed. What else was there to do? She had prayed every day for the removal of his burden of guilt. Just let him be free, oh please. Let him not suffer any more.
When she opened her eyes, tears streaked her cheeks. "Tell me, Josiah. What happened?"
"It was you. Because of you. When I walked away from you…when I gave you up…that paid the price. It was my penance." He dropped his head, looking at the fire. "When I realized that, I laughed. I laughed out loud, for the first time in…a long time. It was funny, you know? In giving up what was the most precious thing in the world to me, I had at last paid the price; but what was funny…was that I’d rather have had you. At any cost---any cost at all."
He looked up at her, and she saw now in his eyes what she had longed to see; the desire, the fiery hunger for her that thrilled her to her bones. And he saw answering heat in her, saw her passion for him. "Oh, yes …I see it…you want me too…" he whispered. "Yes, querida mia, my sweetest love…" Time stopped for both of them then while that long look passed between them.
He turned his glance away at last, pulling himself up before they lost themselves in each other’s eyes. There was more to say before they could come together at last. He took a deep breath and leaned back against the wall, looking once more into the fire. "I needed a sign. Maybe it’s superstition, but I needed a sign." He shrugged. "I got one.
"I went to visit Ruthie…and for the first time ever, she knew me. Me---as I am, not as I was thirty years ago." He shook his head, wonderment still strong in him over what had happened. "She said, ‘Josiah, your hair is gray. You’re getting old. But you’re my brother, and I love you.’ And she put out her hand and touched my face." His eyes stared sightlessly ahead, remembering. "She smiled and touched the side of my face, and I knew it was true. I was forgiven." Then he looked down at his hands and his voice changed, lost its wonderment. "Two minutes later she didn’t know me at all."
Quick tears came to Mary’s eyes again; tears for his release from his long bondage to guilt, and for Ruthie, lost in her own world of shadows and illusion.
He looked up at her. "All I thought of after I left her was you. I didn’t know how to regain you, or if I ever could. I was forgiven because I left you; I couldn’t go back to you now that I had what you had been the price for. But I thought that if you were to come to me, freely, without my asking---that would be fair play.
"This was the place we knew together; I had to come back here. I hoped you’d come. I was prepared to wait forever." Surprising her, he grinned suddenly. "I thought it would be longer than three days!"
She returned his smile. "Chris told me last evening that someone had seen you in Vista City, and I knew where you were going. I knew!"
He laughed softly. "You found out---just last night?"
"Do you think I’d wait? I wanted to come then, but Chris wouldn’t!"
That made him laugh harder. "You do love me, don’t you? You do want me…" The laughter disappeared suddenly and his face became rapt, enthralled, as desire delayed too long flooded through him again. "Do you want me, Mary? Do you?" He stood up.
"I want you." She held out her arms. "Oh, please."
He was around the fire and pulling her up into his arms before the last word left her lips. He looked at her for a second, immobilized by the hot rush of desire that her plea called forth in him, and when he lowered his head at last he made a small helpless sound just before his mouth came down on hers. Now there was passion in his kiss, all the passion stored up during three months of starving for her. She felt his heart pounding, and his body began almost immediately to tremble as longing for her seized him.
Mary’s body reacted to his kiss with instant heat, instant hunger. Her mouth opened under his gladly; she met his searching tongue with her own, wanting all of him, everywhere, deeper, hotter, reaching into her. She pressed her hips to his, helpless to stop the involuntary movement to bring herself closer to him. She pulled up his shirt and her hands moved over his back, joyously recalling the feel of him, the hard masculine muscle under smooth skin.
He lifted his mouth from hers to tell her of his desires, the love words spilling from his lips. "Querida…my angel, I’ve got to kiss you, to touch you…my sweet love, I want to feel your body under me…" He kissed her everywhere between passionate words. His hands moved over her, curving around her body, passing over her hips, gently pressing on her belly. "I want my hands on the most secret parts of you. I want to see you open yourself to me…open to my eyes and my hands, and to my mouth…" He whispered constantly to her of his desires and his intentions, as his mouth slid over her throat and into the vee of her blouse to touch the tops of her breasts. "I’m going to kiss you everywhere…here…", his hand moved to her breasts, "and here…" his hand warmed her between her thighs.
She felt the warmth of his hands through her heavy riding skirt, and when they moved up, under her jacket, they felt hot through the thinner fabric of her blouse. He stroked her breasts, and she felt as if she were melting in the heat of her desire for him. She pulled away slightly, beginning to unfasten her blouse. "I want my clothes off." Then she brought her face close to his again, asking for a kiss. Against his mouth she murmured, "I want your hands on my skin...I want to feel your hands all over me. I’ve missed your hands...and your mouth…so much, oh love...kiss me...."
Josiah picked her up in his arms, and took her to his bed. He laid her down, and kneeling over her, he began to unfasten her clothes. They both worked at it feverishly, and in a few moments she lay before him as he remembered her, golden in the firelight, glorious in his eyes.
Mary reached out to caress his penis, furiously erect under the straining cloth of his jeans. His eyes shut, and for a moment he stopped moving and even breathing, to feel her hands on him again. Then he unbuttoned his shirt, pulled it off, and his hands moved to his belt buckle as he rose to his feet. In seconds he too was naked and he knelt beside her again.
His pulsing manhood drew all of Mary’s attention and her hand began to stroke it. He knelt motionless, his head back and his eyes closed, breathing hard, while she caressed him. When her mouth touched his penis, he cried out in surprise and delight. "Oh Mary…love…oh, God!" His hands came to her head, holding her there while he groaned in the extremity of his pleasure. But his excitement was such that he couldn’t let it go on long. He moved her away from him gently with a hand on each side of her head.
She made a sound of reluctance just as her mouth parted from him. "---But I want to, Josiah!"
"Let me…let me make love to you now…let me…" He laid down beside her. "I need to touch you all over, Mary. I need it...as I need food or sleep...querida…my most loved darling…" As he spoke to her, he began to kiss her throat, moving down to her breasts, taking a nipple into his mouth deeply, drawing on it until she cried out in pleasure, feeling that mysterious connection between her breasts and the deepest seat of her womanhood.
His hands seemed to be everywhere. She felt his mouth still at her breast making her moan with pleasure, while his hand slid over her, making its way down her body to stroke the curling hair at her groin. His fingers reached into the warm, wet place between her legs, and she made a soft surprised sound as he slid two fingers inside her. She tensed with uncertainty, but the stimulation overwhelmed her and in a moment she was thrusting her pelvis into his hand, making the contact as close, as deep as it could be. She began to moan softly, and as he moved his fingers inside her, her breathing became ragged and her body began to tense in the preamble to orgasm.
Josiah murmured to her softly, lifting his mouth repeatedly from her breast to speak, while his hand never stopped moving. "That’s my love…that’s my willing little love…do it for me now, let it all come…my sweet one, let it come now, love…." His thumb moved up to touch that small knot of nerves that was the center of all stimulation for her. Her body swayed against his hand as feeling overwhelmed her.
"Josiah…my lover…oh…touch me there…again…" The words came from her slurred and broken as she climbed the heights of sensation. Josiah was watching her avidly now, his excitement growing along with hers. There was a special joy for him in watching her face while he made her lose all control, made her scale the heights of pleasure simply from the touch of his hand.
Then with a long wail she went over into ecstatic, convulsive orgasm. Josiah watched her with passionate attention, drinking in her rapture, his face lit with love and delight at his ability to make her body give her such thrilling pleasure. His arms held her close to him, cradling her as she came slowly back to the present time and place. She opened her eyes at last, and smiled.
His kiss was gentle at first, but his own body was straining now for release, and in a few moments his desire brought him to a hard-breathing peak of passion, "Now, my love…again."
And she was with him. "Oh please…again!"
Her body shifted in concert with his as he moved himself over her. He held himself poised there, feeling her breasts crushed against him, the slim, lithe beauty of her body, feeling the heat of her, the response of her, the joy of having her here, under him once again. He entered her slowly, holding back, wanting to appreciate to the full every instant of this encounter. He had thought never again to feel her body surrounding him, never to immerse himself in her with consuming, fiery ardor.
Holding back lasted only a short time. She was here, now, his again---his again to be his lifemate, his bedmate forever, world without end. At that thought, and with her beginning to move under him, impatient for his lovemaking, passion erupted almost immediately in an orgasm so fiery, so complete, that he lost consciousness for a few seconds. When he returned to himself, he could feel the lessening contractions of Mary’s body from her second climax in just a few minutes. Then together they slowly relaxed as their bodies went limp with exhausted satiation.
Keeping their deep, intimate connection, Josiah turned them just far enough to take his weight off her body and reached down to pull a blanket over them. He kissed her gently, and they looked into each other’s eyes---a long, warm, satisfying look of love. Then both pairs of eyes closed, and sleep overtook them almost instantly.
*********
Mary woke first, yawning and opening
her eyes to the gray light just before dawn. Josiah slept beside
her, lying on his stomach, his face turned toward her. She looked
at him in the soft dawn glow, seeing his face looking so young, so…innocent,
somehow, in sleep.
She loved him so much, with such tenderness. How different, she thought. How different my life with him will be. Days full of the same tasks and challenges that life has for everyone, but how different for me from the past. How much love flooding over me through all the hours of the day from this man who loves with such a whole heart. And the nights---how different the nights!
Her eyes filled with tears as she looked at his sleeping face, and she vowed to herself that his sorrow-filled days were over forever. She would make his life happy and fulfilling. His past was gone, and the future was only bright ahead.
As she gazed at his face, his eyes opened, and he smiled slowly at her. "It’s true. I was afraid to open my eyes. If it had been a dream---." His brows drew together. "Tears? What, love?"
"Happy tears only. I love you very much. Are you going to marry me?"
He erupted with surprised laughter. "Well, I wasn’t going to, but if you insist, I suppose I’ll have to. Damn!"
He turned his body so that he leaned over her, and his voice changed, becoming deep and tender. "I told Chris when he was here that I’d marry you in a minute if I thought it was right. Well, it’s right; I know it’s right now. I adore you with every part of me, all of my body and my soul. I can think of no more complete happiness than to spend the rest of my life with you." He kissed her then, with tender gentleness, without passion.
She smiled up at him. "That’s what I wanted to hear. I hope I’ll hear it every day, and every night, for the rest of my life." Her eyes showed mischief then. "Especially at night. I love you always, Josiah, in every way, but at night I love you in special ways."
She sat up, caught by a sudden thought. "You did it again last night, Josiah. There’s always something new. I can’t believe how many different ways you know to make me…" She stopped, at a loss for words. "Josiah---what is it that happens to me? You know, when we…when I…" And to his delight, the fiery blush he loved rose up her neck and covered her face.
He chuckled, and then laughed. "I’m sorry, I’m not laughing at you...well, yes...I am. You’re just so…such a darling, Mary. I love you so much…" He laughed again. "The scientific word for what happens is ‘orgasm’," his voice became softer, "but that doesn’t tell you a lot. My explanation of what happens to you is more expressive, I think." His eyes held hers with all of his love in them.
"I take you to heaven, my sweetest love…and you take me there, too."
*********
"Hungry, Josiah? Shall I make
breakfast?" She was watching him as he restarted the fire.
"Not very, not yet. But sit. I’ll make coffee." He reached for the pot.
"Don’t bother, unless you want it."
He stood still for a moment, thinking about it. Then he said, grinning, "Sh-h-h. We always have coffee. It’s traditional."
When the coffeepot was hanging on the tripod, he sat down beside her. "Come here to me." He slid his arms under her and lifted her into his lap.
She moved a little, getting comfortable, then sighed contentedly. "It’s just the same. It’s the same as it was before." She looked up at him, smiling. "It’s traditional."
He kissed the top of her head. "Just the same. But now it’s forever. It’ll always be the same, querida mia, my sweetest love---forever."
The End
"Twilight" is by Sara Teasdale, but since she wasn’t even born until 1884, I couldn’t attribute her poem to her in the body of the story. "Lucifer in Starlight" is by George Meredith.
I’d very much like to have your comments or criticism.
Lynn
wright1533@comcast.net