a little editing

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a little editing

Post by 222333 »

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The rule of the duel is to write one paragraph each. So, I think that your previous post should be edited like this:

"Remember when I came back from my friend, Nancy's? I realized then that love is worth everything, and you agreed." Catherine paused before continuing, organizing her thoughts. "Love requires sacrifice, Vincent. If it didn't, there would be no reason to bond to one person over someone else. All we can do is be honest and open with each other, so that our choices are made in understanding. If we do that, then all we need do is accept that choice. I understood when you rescued me in the park that secrets would be a part of my life. I accepted that with my promise to keep your secret safe. Believe me when I say there is no burden to loving you, no life I can't live that I want to live. The life I want is with you." She looked squarely at Vincent. "The question I have for you is, what life do you want?"

S
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Re: a little editing

Post by Maclurv »

Okay. I will edit.
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Re: a little editing

Post by Maclurv »

How does the editing piece work? Is that done here?

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Re: a little editing

Post by 222333 »

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Yes, here please point out anything both about corrections to the paragraphs and about side conversations about the story development.

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Re: a little editing

Post by Maclurv »

I think I realized something about my process here. I think what I would like to do is to go through our conversation first. I need to get down the thoughts about the content. Then I need to go back and 'hear' whether I got Catherine's voice or not, and then get to the nitty-gritty about grammar, etc. Is that an okay process for you?
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Re: a little editing

Post by 222333 »

*
Sorry... I have not understood. Do you mean you just want to write the draft, and take care of the corrections after we are done?

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Re: a little editing

Post by Maclurv »

I think my answer to this is yes. This is such a new experience for me, and fiction is so foreign for me without sounding academic about it, that I think I need to concentrate of getting out of my head the 'meat' of the idea for what Catherine would say to Vincent. If I try to juggle it all at once, the correct Catherine voice, the content, the grammar, I'm afraid it will all come out stupid (which it may anyway, but giving it my best shot!). Please feel free to comment as you go, if for no other reason to not forget later what you might have wanted to say! (something that happens to me a lot!)
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Re: a little editing

Post by 222333 »

*
Very good for me, if Vincent speaking "my" English is not a problem for you and you don't feel the urge to fix it. I also want to say that this duel is precisely to allow you to get out that bottled conversation you have been mentioning time and again, so it's okay that you do it your way. For my part, I'm trying to write what I believe Vincent would think/feel based on the episodes, as well as on *my* logic, although I don't think he would actually say all this - well, nor would/did Catherine prod him that way. This means that in my opinion Vincent is turning out out of character from a fiction point of view, perhaps not from a psycological point of view.

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Re: a little editing

Post by Maclurv »

I will engage in editing your contributions, never fear! Just after we come to whatever conclusion we come to.

How sweet of you to give me this outlet for my frustration! But, if I may, I would point out if you just keep to essentially what he has said based on episodes, we may go in circles! Please feel free to create what would be true to your understanding of Vincent and the situation.
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