Dear To My Heart

by Beth Gualda

I was going to write her a love letter and I needed a rose toaccompany it.

Father did not protest for he was fast asleep and didn't know Iwas going above. That was a great relief to me, not having to explainmy intentions to the last detail. Defend once more the true nature ofthe feelings I had for her.

She and I spent the entire evening together by the mirror pool.She sat so close to me and would look at me....and smile and send myheart tripping, tumbling; the blood inside me swirling, making me madwith desire for her. But then, this was nothing new lately. My bodywas awakening as though from the deepest slumber, hungry, restless.The very sight of her stirred me. The want was all consuming anymore.It was all I thought about.

I didn't know if she realized this. For she continued to tortureme, wide-eyed and innocent. Not knowing, (how could she?) what themere touch of her hand did to my physiology. I wanted her......morethan anything, but how could I tell her? How could I approach anangel like her, when my mind was that of a devil's?"

Prose! My close friend. I could always rely on romantic words onpaper to convey my loves......and delights. Encouraging her toexperience with me, that aspect of love kept in the dark, in moreways than one.

It was a crystal clear night with a blazing full moon. The parkwas quiet and would provide the perfect ambiance for composing myletter.

I knew of a garden terrace, resplendent with roses. So much infact, I also knew the gardeners could not possibly detect the absenceof one flower and guiltlessly severed a red bud with my nails.

Cradling my prize back to the park, I seated myself under asloping tree to write.

Dear to my heart....I began, for she was, more than she couldever know. I am unable to find repose tonight for thinking of you. Mymind pictures you tirelessly when you are away from me and I do notwish to inhibit it to sleep, even though I know it will continue onin my dreams. You are constantly with me....your essence penetratesme whenever you are close to me, saturating my soul and filling myheart so I cannot possibly miss you. But I do miss you. Just beingclose to you now and then is not enough anymore to keep my heart fromlonging for you whenever we are apart. You must know I loveyou....and I want you to realize at last how you effect me. The needto.......need to....

Sighing with varying frustrations at my sudden writer's block, Ipaused and allowed that need I was trying to explain ever sodelicately, conjure up images in my mind. I closed my eyesmomentarily lost in those waking dreams. I put my hand over my heartin a futile effort to steady it.

She was so beautiful....So graceful...and beguiling. How could Ieven function in her presence? How was I able to remember to breathe?So intoxicating....and spellbinding. She was an enchantress, she hadto be, to have such power over me.

..........The desire, the yearning, the ache....from deep insidemy body, is all for you. To become so wholly yours in that delectableunion of truest love and fiery passions and complete surrender toanother's soul.

It is with you I want to give myself and I write this letter inhopes you want to give yourself to me. It will be tender, I promise,for my love for you will guide me....my foremost desire will be foryour pleasure........Please.....say yes.

You need not be self conscious...or timid with me. Because I haveseen you, I have watched you sometimes when you were unaware and youare so very lovely.........

No, I decided, and scratched the latter part of the letter out. Ishouldn't tell her that. She'll flee from me for sure....thinkingherself at risk of being taken forcibly as a result of my....well,lust. No, I must convince her I am in complete control and she has noreason to worry.

...........Though my desire for this distracts me endlessly, Idon't want to coerce you; that is not the intention of this letter. Iwant instead to reassure you and encourage you, but if you decide notto accept my offer.....if you feel in any way you are not ready totake such a step with me, I will wait then. I'd wait forever for you.For your love. I know you are worth it.

Let me close with one more gentle plea. Only you can quench thesefires, only you can satisfy this hunger....you alone have the powerwithin your heart....and body...to grant me sweet release, mybeautiful, beautiful Lisa, and with it, fulfill the rest of my days.With my love always, Vincent.

Satisfied, I quickly recopied the letter in my best penmanshipand addressed it with her name; slipping the rose between the pagesbefore sealing it. I kissed it softly and placed it in the folds ofmy cloak...over my heart.

Surely...this would convince her. Surely.....if she had anymercy...she would not deny me any further. She would realize how muchI worship her. She did after all...love me too.

The End