Path 2

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Re: Path 2

by 222333 » Sun Sep 04, 2016 10:39 pm

*
He was silent for a few moments, his struggle with the disrupting news evident. “Trust… is a two ways path,” he said, concern for all that was as stake evident in his tone as well. “Can we trust him?"

-

Re: Path 2

by Zara » Tue Aug 30, 2016 5:28 pm

She related all that Isaac had told her: about Lucy, about the man named Red who had once abducted her in a taxi cab on Jason Walker's orders, and about the Silks women, Patricia and Cozy, whom Catherine and Isaac had fought in order to follow Vincent down into the abandoned ruin of the former Beaumont night club. Vincent lowered his eyes quickly when she spoke the women's names. He doesn't like remembering them, Catherine guessed, a little surprised by Vincent's reaction, because she had not anticipated it, but also immediately sympathetic to his discomfort. She forged ahead, hoping to spare him from too much time spent remembering bad things.

"So now Isaac wants to know what happened to Jace," Catherine concluded. "They were friends, and it's hard to lose a good friend. And...Isaac wants to know your side of the story before he hears Red's. I think...maybe...he wants to size you up. Decide whether he can trust you or not. Maybe he's even wondering how much he can trust me."

Re: Path 2

by 222333 » Wed Jan 20, 2016 3:48 am

*
A minute later, he was down the ladder and in front of Vincent. A very concerned Vincent. “Tell me,” he said.

.

Re: Path 2

by Zara » Tue Jan 12, 2016 8:38 am

{Maybe try: happenstance was leading me...

or: happenstance was my guide.}

____________________________________________



_*_

That evening, Catherine did not stay late at the office. Her early-morning conversation with Isaac weighed heavily on her heart. She gathered her belongings at a quarter past five and hurried home as fast as rush hour traffic would allow. Arriving at last in her parking garage, she parked and locked her car, balancing purse, satchel, keys, and overcoat in a routine feat of absentminded acrobatics. She then went straight from the garage to her apartment building's subbasement access door in the basement storage room.

Re: Path 2

by 222333 » Fri Mar 06, 2015 4:40 am

{"happenstance was leading me", I think. I didn't even know that such a word like happenstance existed, but once I learnt it, what I wanted to say is that Catherine in her life B.V. did not take the lead of her life, rather leaving things happen. How is it the proper way to say it, using the word "happenstance", to echo Isaac? }

{But now, I don't know how to go ahead. She already told that she has to ask for permission to share whatever it needs to be shared. The scene should probably end now and... what? Okay, I'll put the ball in your courtyard... :wink: }

------------------

*
She smiled. "Thank you, Isaac."

.

Re: Path 2

by Zara » Wed Mar 04, 2015 9:09 am

Where happenstance was my lead.

How is she using "lead" here? Lead = leash? Lead = happenstance was leading me? Lead = happenstance was my leader? The meaning is not quite clear to me.

____________________________________________


He gave her shoulder a friendly squeeze and let her go. "Well, for what it's worth, you're one of my best students, ever. I think you're pretty good at learning new things."

Re: Path 2

by 222333 » Fri Feb 27, 2015 2:00 am

*
“I had a different life, Isaac. Before that April night. Where happenstance was my lead. No, I gratefully choose this complicated new life. I can’t remember a time when I felt as good or complete as I do right now. I just… need to learn to fit.”

.

Re: Path 2

by Zara » Thu Feb 26, 2015 7:55 pm

Isaac nodded, understanding. "My grandad used to say that life has its seasons, and we've got to pass through them all, whether we like it or not. When one season changes over to the next, all we get to decide is whether we're gonna change with it, or try to stay the same as we were before. Neither choice is easy to make. But the ability to choose even the least little thing is what gives human beings our power and dignity." He rested a kind hand on her shoulder. "If I can suggest one thing? Just don't get stuck letting happenstance make all your choices for you. If you're starting to think your pieces are too different to fit inside your new life...well, it's never too late to pick a different life and try that out for a while."

Re: Path 2

by 222333 » Wed Feb 04, 2015 1:57 am

{cough... cough... }

*
She thought over it for a little while. “I guess… just too different.”

.

Re: Path 2

by Zara » Thu Jan 29, 2015 7:07 am

{oooch. I am sorry you have been ill! Flu is awful. *offers gentle hugs and steaming tea*}

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"You worried that you and your pieces are too big for the life...or too small?" Isaac asked.

Re: Path 2

by 222333 » Tue Jan 27, 2015 7:53 am

{sorry - bad flu, I'm back now}

*
“You know, Isaac, sometimes... I wonder if all the pieces of my life will ever fit together again," Catherine quietly said, absently looking around her teacher’s loft with its paraphernalia. "No,” she added after a moment, “actually, what I’m wondering, especially of late, is if I am fit for this… new life I chose for myself.”

.

Re: Path 2

by Zara » Thu Jan 22, 2015 6:48 am

If it's okay, I am rather enjoying the separate paths, where the characters are making slightly different choices. It would be quite possible to connect this scene with the Central Park branch; perhaps we'd end up doing that at a later revisioning stage. As it stands right now, though, in the Central Park tale this Isaac-Catherine conversation is left to the reader's imagination and the emphasis is on Isaac and Vincent connecting at a certain time, in a certain way, in a certain mood, with Catherine's direct guidance and support. Things might happen differently in this other story wherein Isaac's description of the situation on the Lower East Side has made so many fears and dangerous variables so explicit, and wherein Catherine is feeling so strongly the tension between conflicting commitments to people she cares about. Different atmospheres to play in.

Because it is implied in canon that meeting Vincent in a non-accidental way is an important (perhaps essential) part of Tunnelfolk culture, it might be interesting here in Path 2 to explore the issue of Isaac's nomination to the community as a potential friend or even a Helper, as well as the issue of meeting Lucy's needs, because Vincent already has a budding relationship with her and she has already gone through the "rite of passage" of seeing him up close and accepting him. After all, what is the "slow and gradual process by which people come to live" Below? What are some of those "very strict" rules about "who may come Down, and for what reason"? What, exactly, does the "Council" decide under ordinary circumstances, beyond offering someone in need some kind of sanctuary? How, exactly, do the Helpers and the Tunnel-dwellers relate to each other within their special subculture? The episodes never told us; they only showed us the various emergency exceptions to the rules, when Tunnels Law got bent, broken, or reinterpreted to accommodate extraordinary crises. Heck, we could even get into Catherine's community status if we wanted to, which was still quite nebulous in this part of Season One, especially after Father's (alas, notorious-in-fandom) statements to her in NWD.

Path 1 is feeling more direct-action-oriented so far, wherein the relationships are more important to the story than any rules or consequences. More doing, less exposition. So: atmospheres.

We might need to ponder such things together in the Talks section. :)

Writerly note: You have two "looks" in your first sentence. One regarding visual action and the other referring to facial expression. The English is good, but the repetition caught my readerly attention, made me notice the words instead of the story. Just an observation.

______________________________________________



Isaac only nodded. "Friends do for each other," he said.

Re: Path 2

by 222333 » Wed Jan 21, 2015 10:03 am

*
She looked at him with a strange look expression on her face. A hesitant smile started to twist her lips. “You can’t begin to understand how… good it feels to hear this, Isaac.”

--------------------

{how do you plan to continue? I mean – would it be possible to cut to the Central Park scene we have already written? Unless you prefer other developments, of course – for which I’m game}

Re: Path 2

by Zara » Wed Jan 21, 2015 5:20 am

{It works just fine in English, too. :) And the revised paragraph looks great.}

___________________

"Yeah," he said again. "I know. I just had to start by talking with you." He smiled his warm, chip-toothed smile at her. "He may be your friend, but you're mine. And so I care a lot about you and yours."

Re: Path 2

by 222333 » Wed Jan 21, 2015 2:27 am

*
“Isaac, I think you know already that… a decision about all this is not only mine do make, don’t you?”

.
{"you know already" I mean - you are smart enough to imagine it. I don't know if it works in English, it's a common way of saying in Italian}

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