Vincent appeared thoughtful but relaxed as they sat together by the fire, sharing their morning tea. Catherine didn't mind that he was very quiet. She contented herself with looking at him, glad he didn't seem to mind her scrutiny.

When she looked up, she caught Joshua watching her with fond interest. She cast him a quick smile and rose to help Rebecca with clearing away the remainders of their breakfast.

"I can't remember being that tired when I made this trip for the first time," Rebecca said, massaging her neck. "Joshua is carrying most of my things already, but still..."

Catherine smiled. "I know. I'm beat too. I guess it's the excitement that keeps me going."

Rebecca straightened and looked searchingly into Catherine's eyes. "Excitement, huh?"

Catherine lowered her gaze demurely. "I can't thank you enough for making me come."

"Don't thank me, thank Joshua," Rebecca replied and the look she sent in Joshua's direction didn't go unnoticed by Catherine.

"You like him a lot, don't you?" she inquired softly.

Rebecca returned her attention to the task at hand. "You know it's strange, but I can't remember feeling this way about him when we were teenagers," she said. "He has changed. He was no more than a boy then, and now he is..."

"A man," Catherine offered when Rebecca fell silent.

A blush tinged Rebecca's cheeks and she smiled. "Yes, I think that's what I mean. Joshua has always been a searcher. I suppose that's why he wanted to become a priest. He hoped to find God that way."

"But apparently it wasn't the right way for him," Catherine said.

Rebecca shook her head. "I'm not sure if he has found the right way yet. Something's the matter, but he won't talk about it."

Catherine glanced over at Joshua and Vincent who were talking quietly. "I wish I had known them back then," she said wistfully.

Rebecca put a comforting hand on Catherine's shoulder. "They were awful. They always stuck their heads together, keeping to themselves most of the time, talking about plans and dreams and things they considered inappropriate for a girl." With a wink she added, "You didn't miss much. They've both improved considerably."

Catherine laughed. "I bet."

They stored away the remaining equipment and returned to the fireplace.

"We should reach the Crystal Cavern before noon," Vincent said.

" I will never forget the first time I set foot in it," Joshua replied with a faraway look.

Suddenly Vincent cocked his head and put down his mug, listening intently into the silence. Catherine looked around her apprehensively, but there was nothing out of the ordinary.

"Vincent," she asked. "What is it?"

He put his index finger to his lips and closed his eyes in concentration. Then she could hear it too. A sound like distant thunder made the hairs on the nape of her neck stand on end. She jumped to her feet, knocking over her mug and spilling the tea in the process. The rumble grew louder and before she knew what was happening she felt Vincent's arm around her waist as he pulled her to the ground. Small pieces of rubble started to rain down on them as he quickly rolled her towards the wall, covering her with his body. From the corner of her eye she saw that Joshua had pulled Rebecca against the opposite wall. But then Vincent put his hands over her face and her perception narrowed down to the sound of his breathing close to her ear. His heart beat loudly against hers as he struggled to protect her from the stones drumming onto his back.

For a moment Catherine felt transported straight into a nightmare, but when she realized the noise had stopped and no more stones were falling, she became acutely aware of Vincent's body on top of her own. Slowly he withdrew his palms from her face and she opened her eyes. The fire was still flickering and as far as she could see no serious damage was done to the place. Joshua and Rebecca were nowhere to be seen.

Catherine thought they had probably sought refuge in a side tunnel.

"It has passed," Vincent whispered as if he were afraid his voice could trigger another avalanche of rubble and stones. "I think we were lucky. It's over."

In awe she looked up at him, watching him as he craned his neck, staring up to the ceiling of the cavern. One of his thighs lay heavily across her legs and his arms were still around her as he tried to assess the situation.

A rush of desire surged through her and when his gaze snapped down to hers she thought that it wasn't so much a bodily experience but one of the soul, an emotion so intense that it took her breath away.

She felt him tense and shift his weight in order to push himself away from her. Swiftly she brought up her hand and placed it softly on the side of his neck. It was a small gesture, but one that stilled him immediately. He relaxed, his eyes locked to hers, and she marveled at the wealth of emotions passing over his features. She was faintly aware of whispering his name and then there was only the soft pressure of his mouth, the incredible sensation of his lips moving against hers. His arms tightened around her as he kissed her, shyly at first but with increasing abandon.

His breath was hot on her skin as they parted for air. For a long moment he held her gaze before moving away from her. Slowly he sat up, running his hands over his head in a gesture of confusion.

Quickly Catherine knelt up and hugged him. "Thank you for shielding me with your body," she whispered into his ear.

He turned within her embrace and tenderly rubbed her back before releasing her.

"Please be careful," he warned, and the plea in his eyes left her wondering what he was referring to. She cupped her palm around his cheek and leaned her forehead against his, a gesture meant to calm and settle him, but he tensed and pulled away.

"I am not only what you see," he began without preamble and she all but flinched at his voice.

"No one is just what others see," she countered.

He contemplated her reply for a second before he continued. "That's true, but in my case being what I need to be is...more complicated."

She shifted her weight in order to look at him more closely. "What do you mean?"

"Vincent, Catherine, are you all right?" Joshua's voice startled them apart.

Quickly Vincent got to his feet . "We are. What about you?"

"We're fine. Boy, that was close."

"We'd better break camp," Vincent suggested, a deep frown creasing his brow.

Joshua nodded thoughtfully and they all walked back to the fireplace to retrieve their packs. Rebecca had picked up the remaining two mugs and stored them in Joshua's pack.

"Let's go," she said with a glance at Catherine. "Are you all right? You look pale."

"I'm fine, thanks," Catherine replied, but she was glad Vincent took her hand when they started walking at last.

They had been hiking for hours, and from the empty feeling in her stomach Catherine assumed it must be close to noon. Suddenly the tunnel widened into a vaulted cave and Vincent stopped, indicating the even floor.

"This is a good place to set up our camp," he said. "The area surrounding the Crystal Cavern is steep and narrow, and there is no possibility to make a fire."

"It's not far from here anyway," Joshua interjected. "And the comfort of this place is definitely worth the walk back and forth."

Catherine slumped to the ground with a sigh of relief. She was too tired to care. All she wanted at the moment was sleep.

Vincent cast her a concerned look. "We will eat and rest before we go on," he said, squatting down beside Catherine to help her out of her backpack. When he unrolled her sleeping bag, she lay down immediately and closed her eyes.

"You should eat now," she heard Vincent's voice close to her ear. When she looked up, she realized that she must have napped for a while. The fire was burning and Joshua and Rebecca were already eating. Slowly she sat up, fighting off the feeling of disorientation that enveloped her drowsy mind.

Vincent handed her a bowl of soup and obediently she began to eat, although she didn't feel hungry at all. From time to time she glanced over at Joshua and Rebecca who were deeply engrossed in some lively conversation. She noticed a new and deeper closeness between them, and it warmed her heart to catch the meaningful looks they exchanged.

Memories of the kiss she and Vincent had shared sent a pleasant tingle down her spine. She wished they had had more time to talk afterwards. If only Joshua had come a little later...As she leaned forward to pick up another slice of bread her hand brushed against Vincent's. She looked up and glimpsed a question in his eyes as he gazed at her intently.

Joshua's voice pulled them back to the present. "Vincent, you've got to help me here. Rebecca and I have been discussing the topic of soul mates and I wonder if you still remember the conversation you and I had on soul mates once?"

"It's been a while," Vincent replied. "What do you want to know?"

"I'm not sure," Joshua said. "Rebecca tells me there are several kinds of soul mates."

Vincent nodded. "At least that's what the book I read said. First, there are those with whom you share a certain goal or project. You feel very close to those people, but when the goal is reached, when the things you met for are accomplished, you part again."

Joshua nodded. "Now I remember. Then there are those with whom you share a karmic bond which means you shared parts of your previous lives and created all kinds of karma together which need to be resolved in this life. If it's a joyful or painful relationship depends on whether it was good or bad karma you created."

"And finally there are true soul mates," Vincent continued in a low voice, "who are two halves of one whole."

Joshua stared pensively into the flames. "And how do they know?" he asked quietly. "How do they recognize each other?"

Vincent stirred the embers of the fire. "You can judge by the intensity of your emotions," he mused. "If you shared a common goal first and fall in love gradually, it's most likely the first category."

"If it's 'love at first sight' with thunder and lightning and everything, it's probably the second or last category," Joshua threw in.

"And how do you distinguish those two?" Rebecca asked.

"You can't tell for sure, at least not right away," Joshua replied. "To explain that more thoroughly, I would have to digress a bit."

"Please do," Rebecca implored him.

Catherine thought she glimpsed reluctance in Joshua's eyes before he began to speak. "Duals are truly one - like two sides of a coin. Their spirits, hearts and minds flow from the same spiritual source. Their unity is as deep as the sea. Your dual is not only the mirror of your spirit and your entire consciousness, but of your very soul as well. Of your most secret yearning and hope that can only be filled by one single entity in the whole universe."

Joshua's words evoked a gamut of intense emotions in Catherine. She glanced over at Vincent and caught his silent regard. Quickly she cast down her gaze.

"When you look at relationships around you," she remarked, staring into the fire, "you get the impression that there aren't a lot of soul mates out there who found one another."

"That's true," Joshua said and Rebecca nodded in agreement.

Joshua began to speak again and Catherine found herself listening with utter fascination.

"And sometimes it simply isn't enough for duals to meet. If they don't meet on the same planes of consciousness, they can't coexist either."

"Now I'm confused," Catherine admitted. "I thought once you meet your soul mate you're saved."

Joshua smiled. "Even if you met your soul mate, there still may be a long way to go for the two halves before they can truly be one. A human being exists on seven levels, but not all of them are equally developed in all people. If duals followed different paths, they may have reached different levels of consciousness." He paused for a moment, collecting his thoughts.

"I will outline this concept very roughly," he suggested at last and when everybody nodded, he continued. "Two people who meet on the physical level alone may experience sexual fulfillment, but no unity. Relationships on that level, if you can call them such, only last for the immediate encounter, seldom longer. Then there's the level of passion, which allows for relationships that last for as long as the passion lasts. Usually they are over when the physical attraction fades. The third level is one of emotions, and if two people meet there, their relationship can last a lifetime. But those emotions can be shaken and crushed by outward circumstances, and people part to form new relationships."

"Most relationships I know take place on those three levels," Catherine remarked thoughtfully.

Joshua nodded. "The fourth level is that of true hearts which involves higher emotions than those on the third level which are almost...impersonal. On the third level you have a longing for warmth and tenderness, and any partner who appeals to you can fulfill that, but partners are interchangeable here. On the fourth level that longing becomes personal. You long for the warmth and tenderness and the understanding of a certain person who can't be substituted any longer.

"The fifth level encompasses a deep and more complete understanding between lovers. On that level they are usually able to communicate in ways that others would regard as out of the ordinary."

"You mean they can read each other's thoughts," Catherine interjected, thinking of Vincent's uncanny ability to sense things in her.

Joshua nodded. "Level six is a spiritual one, and the oneness you experience there is beyond words. As I understand it, it's the level where you really become one with your dual without having to incarnate again into separate existences."

"And the seventh level?" Catherine asked quietly, unable to imagine anything higher than what he had just said about the sixth.

Joshua inclined his head to one side and smiled. "I believe that's not only beyond words, but beyond imagining as well."

Catherine's head spun with all these new and undigested ideas and concepts, and she felt slightly dizzy. Vincent knelt down at her side and placed his palm on her forehead.

"I'm fine," she reassured him. "It's just that I have a lot of thinking ahead of me."

"So have I," he whispered close to her ear and she shivered.

"Well, let's go see that mysterious crystal cavern now," Joshua suggested.

She felt the weight of Vincent's hand on her shoulder. "Come," he said.

"You will feel better there. I promise."

Leaning back, she looked up at him, and the expectant expression on his face made her heart wide with joy.

It was a very pleasant walk without the heavy packs. The last part of the way required quite a bit of concentration. They had to go down on their hands and knees to pass through a low crawlspace, which opened, into a wider and higher tunnel. They straightened gratefully and Vincent pointed up along a rough rock wall to an opening overhead.

"Up there," he said, his voice hoarse with emotion, and Catherine was awed by the enormity of his gift to take her to a place so sacred to him.

He started pointing out hand and footholds to Joshua and Rebecca, but

Catherine felt too drained and dizzy to pay much attention. Groggily she sat down for a moment. From the corner of her eye she became aware that Rebecca and Joshua had begun their ascent, so she tried to get to her feet as well.

Suddenly Vincent's hand was on her shoulder, squeezing gently.

"Rest a little," he said solicitously. "There's no hurry. The crystals won't disappear."

Catherine turned her head in order to look at him, and he crouched down to meet her gaze. "I think Joshua and Rebecca will appreciate having a moment to themselves," he said. "The sight is quite overwhelming."

Catherine nodded her understanding, glad she was given a moment to gather her strength.

"Once I was in a shop where they sold crystals and gemstones," she said. "They had a big geode of amethyst there. It was breathtakingly beautiful and I stepped closer to look at it. Suddenly a wave of soft tingles washed over me and I blinked my eyes incredulously. I extended my hand toward the geode and the tingling intensified. It was amazing."

Vincent slid to the ground beside her. "It is like that in there, only much more intense, because the crystal cavern is one gigantic geode. And what's so miraculous about it is that there are four different kinds of quartz in there."

"Usually they contain just one or two," Catherine said, and he nodded.

"But here you find not only crystal quartz and amethyst, but also citrine quartz and smoky quartz."

"How beautiful," she murmured, fighting back a sudden wave of nausea that threatened to rise.

Instantly Vincent was on his knees before her, scanning her face intently. His palm was cool against her face as he brushed away loose strands of hair from her cheeks and forehead. Then he reached for his canteen and poured her a cup of water, which he held to her lips. Catherine grasped his wrist as she drank thirstily.

"I don't know what's wrong with me," she mumbled apologetically. "I've been looking forward to this place so much."

"You're tired," he said. "The energy field that surrounds and protects your body is weakened. The vibrations of this place are very intense and they affect you quite strongly. Rest a little and soon you'll feel strong enough to climb up there."

He settled against the stony wall and pulled her into his arms. She leaned on him gratefully, absorbing his soothing aura as if she were a dry sponge.

His presence permeated her as she drifted on a cloud of drowsy contentment. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to sink deeper into the moment of closeness they shared.

"How are you feeling?" he inquired.

"Wonderful," she mumbled, suddenly aware that he was sustaining her with energy from his own life force. Catherine didn't know how she knew but she knew. "How do you do that?" she asked curiously.

"I'm not sure," he replied. "It just happened. Energy seems to flow quite freely between us."

A wave of intense emotion moved through her and she shifted her weight in order to put both arms around Vincent and hug him tightly. He returned her embrace but she could feel that he was holding himself at a distance – not one of space because they were sitting as close as two people possibly could. Yet there was a certain rigidity in him that told her he wouldn't turn to her fully, he wouldn't allow passion flaring between them.

Catherine accepted that without any further thought. In a way she understood his need for self-control completely as if he had explained it to her in great detail. She knew he wanted her close, wanted her on every level - except...

She raised her head and looked at him. Except on any of the first three, she realized with aching clarity. He wasn't ready yet to accept that aspect of their closeness. He didn't want to.

Vincent met her gaze calmly, steadily, and she could see that he was completely aware of her insight. It was as if they were actually speaking about it, and yet words weren't necessary between them.

Catherine thought it must be the sharing of energy, which enabled them to communicate that way. That and the fact that such a large amount of crystal energy was close by. Crystals enhance human energy, she mused.

"Quartz crystals bring out and enhance everything, the dark and the bright," Vincent said softly.

She sensed resignation in his statement and gently touched his cheek. He lowered his gaze, avoiding her eyes as if afraid of being unable to deal with such an intimate gesture.

"There's dark and bright in every human being," she replied.

He leaned back his head and released a soft groan. "For me...being human has a price," he replied at last.

Her eyes widened in disbelief. "What price?"

He kept his eyes lowered as he replied in a soft, husky voice, "There are things that trigger the more primal aspects in everyone. I know that. But in my case they could become a threat to my very humanity."

Gradually the meaning of his words dawned on her and she leaned her forehead against his shoulder. "Oh Vincent," she breathed, "Do you really believe that making love could ever pull you down?"

He shifted his weight and put one finger under her chin to raise her gaze to his. "Not making love," he said throatily. "But I can't guarantee that it would always be...love...that guided my actions. If the level of spiritual energy within me dropped too low, I might not be able to feel that in me which makes me human."

"So celibacy is the price you pay?" she whispered.

Slowly he took his eyes away from hers and stared off into space before dropping his gaze. "But what has happened between us...," she began.

"...certainly wasn't wise," he interrupted her. "It will make things between us much more difficult and painful."

"You know I wanted you to kiss me," she whispered.

His eyes softened. "I know. And it was...very beautiful." His voice trailed away but his gaze remained locked to hers. She felt a shiver run through her and instantly he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close, warming her.

"Vincent?" she asked. "Please don't think I'm doubting the reasons you have for your decision, but what makes you think celibacy might help you preserve the energy necessary to maintain your humanity?"

There was a pensive silence between them before he replied, "For centuries human beings who wanted to reach a higher level of existence chose celibacy as one of the means to achieve it."

"You mean monks and priests?" she asked. He nodded affirmatively. "But not all of them chose celibacy," Catherine insisted. "Some of the highest religious teachers were married and had in fact large families."

There was a twinkle in his eyes as he looked at her in surprise, but his voice was sober as he replied, "I can hardly compare myself to them."

Why not? a voice inside her screamed, but she bit her tongue. "What about Joshua?" she asked instead. "What was his reason for choosing a life in celibacy?"

Vincent thought about that for a moment. "There was a time when his spiritual quest had become the most important thing in his life. I believe he wanted to eliminate every possible distraction, everything that might have threatened his balance."

Suddenly a question rose within her and her heart twisted painfully in her chest at the thought. "Vincent, am I a threat to your balance?"

The confusion that passed over his features reassured her. "Catherine, that's not the impression I wanted to give you," he said.

She released a quiet sigh of relief. "But those men you referred to earlier..."

"The monks and priests," he provided.

She nodded her head. "Vincent, I think that most of them avoided women just to avoid temptation. They didn't want to go through the experience so they walked around it."

He chuckled softly and her heart leapt with joy at the sound. "No," he said, his eyes caressing her face. "I certainly don't want to walk around you."

She threw herself against his chest, unable to hold back the tears of relief that spilled over her cheeks. "That's all I need to know," she breathed.

His arms tightened around her as he whispered, "I don't know where the dangers lie, or the possibilities. But if you give us time, we may have a chance to find out."

She pulled back slightly to look at him. His gaze was steady and clear, and she thought she had never been more confident in her life that everything was all right and exactly how it should be at the moment.

She leaned forward and kissed his brow, and he sighed softly as he gathered her close again, rocking her gently, silently. She savored the warmth and comfort he gave her, wondering how someone with so much innate tenderness could believe the physical expression of his feelings might pull him down in any way. He kissed the top of her head, and she knew he had picked up on her musings yet again.

"The intensity of...physical closeness...has always been very frightening to me," he whispered into her ear.

She stared at him nonplussed, momentarily at a loss as to how to take his words.

"Oh, I did get to make a few shaky steps in that direction," he murmured, and she felt her eyes widen in surprise.

"Tell me," she coaxed quietly.

"Her name was Lisa," he began slowly. "We were children together. She was about the same age as I. I remember her laughing face when we played or swam in the mirror pool. She loved to dive and one time she overdid it. I watched her disappear beneath the surface, but she didn't come up again. I jumped in to dive after her and finally managed to pull her out of the water. I did what Father had taught us all. I gave her my breath to bring her back to life. I will never forget the jolt of electricity that rushed through my veins when I felt her lips under mine. We were fifteen then. Because we were so close, the impossibility of it all wasn't as clear to me as it should have been. I had seen other members of our community grow from friendship into marriage. I honestly thought it could be that way for Lisa and me. From that day on our relationship changed. I...changed."

Slowly Catherine reached up to brush an errant strand of hair from his face. He grasped her hand and pressed it to his mouth before releasing her again.

"Those are painful memories," he continued. "Memories that remind me every day who I am...and what I am."

"What happened?" she asked softly when he fell silent.

He shook his head in a gesture of helplessness. "Lisa tolerated my adoration. She seemed to enjoy my attention and even flirted with me. I remember our dance that winterfest so long ago. How her body moved against mine. How I struggled to suppress my responses to her femininity and how she was aware of it. That night she kissed me...in earnest. It was when I took her back to her chamber. She pulled me inside and wound her arms around my neck, pressing into me. I couldn't help but respond in kind, and when her lips met mine, I was aflame with passion. I tried to recall Father's words of caution that I must never get into a situation like that, and I struggled to pull back. Suddenly her hand was there...between our bodies...touching me. My heart stopped in my chest and I gasped for air. My mind reeled. I didn't know what to do, or how to prevent myself from doing what my body craved to do. And then..."