NOT EVEN THE RAIN

By Sue Haley and Amber James

When Vincent looked in, Catherine was sitting, motionless on hercouch, her eyes open, unblinking, washed by a constant flow of silenttears. Her sorrow, coupled now with his own, was almost more than hecould bear. He tapped on the window but she did not move. He knewthat this time he must go inside and he did so.

He knelt before her. "Catherine," his voice was both pleading andconsoling. "Tell me."

"It was a movie, Vincent," she remained still, her gaze unaltered,"It was just a movie." And then, as if an earthquake had rippedthrough her in a second, she convulsed and fell forward into hiswaiting arms.

When eventually she was able to speak, she tried to explain.

"It was a movie about deaf people but about one girl in particularand the man who fell in love with her. And I thought about Laura. Ibegan to realise how much she misses by being deaf... music, thesound of waves... it made me very sad."

"I felt that sadness, Catherine. But this... this is more."

"Later in the movie," Catherine continued, "The young woman made abarrier of her deafness - a barrier that need not have been." Shestressed these last words.

"Ah." Now Vincent understood.

"And I thought of YOU, Vincent." She was looking at him intentlynow, tears washing her eyes anew. "Of all that you cannot do becauseof who you are and all that you WILL not do because of..." Shefaltered, not able or not willing to put into words, her meaning.

"... because of who I might become." There was resignation in hisvoice.

Neither spoke for a while. Above this silence hung the samequestion which had hung there, just out of reach, for so long. Now,as each tried to grasp it and crush the answer from it, the solutionwas the same as ever: there was only one way to discover the answerand that answer may not be the one they wanted. If it was not, theymight destroy everything - everything.

The effort of this conflict kept them locked - wanting to -needing to - but not daring to kiss as their dreams promised theycould. He wanted to say, `I'm sorry for what I am'. She wanted tosay, `It doesn't matter'. Neither could invest these thoughts intowords, but promises were exchanged through their eyes that oneday...

At last, Catherine ventured a question. "Vincent, are we ChildrenOf A Lesser God?"

"I don't know, Catherine," and they huddled together, there, onthe floor, clinging to their uncertainty as the safer alternative towhat may be the truth.

Dear Laura

I was thinking about you last night and as it is a while since I had any news of you I decided to write. Are you both well? I heard that you are teaching now and that Jerry has left the Police altogether. I do hope that you are settled now and happy.

Joe is keeping me running around much as he always has. His favourite trick is to drop yet more files on my desk, quite casually, when I am already swamped. I do enjoy my job though and I get a lot from it. I think that is important. How do you like working with children? Is it making you broody?

Vincent is well. We hope that you will both be able to come for Winterfest this year - everyone was sorry not to see you there last year but I know how difficult it can be to get time off. Still, it should be easier now you've been there a while. You must come and stay with me.

Do write and let me know all your news.

Love

Catherine

As Laura let the letter fall from her hand there was a tear in hereye. Jerry, having seen the sudden change in her expression, pickedup the letter and read it through.

It was only a quip on Catherine's part, he was sure, but how truewas her aim!

Gently he sat beside Laura, still holding the letter and he puthis arm around her to comfort her. At first she stiffened; she wouldcope with this alone, but emotion overcame her and she accepted hisembrace. Jerry was relieved. At last she had stopped resisting hisefforts to console her. More than once during recent exchanges on thesubject of children, she had pulled away from him. Now thatCatherine, albeit unwittingly, had reintroduced the subject, perhapsthis was their chance to lay the ghost which haunted Laura - that herchildren may be born deaf.

Jerry had told her many times that both his parents were deaf andyet he was not. That should have reassured Laura but the doctors hadplanted the seeds of doubt and they were flourishing in Laura'sfertile imagination. Jerry retrieved his arm.

"Tell her," he signed. "Tell Catherine."

Laura nodded assent and, Jerry thought, she almost smiled.

Father knew that something was wrong. Vincent had hardly mentionedCatherine for over a week, yet he knew that he had visited her. Hefelt sure that they had not argued so it must be...

"Vincent, can I do, er... anything?"

"No... Thank you, Father... no one can."

"A game of chess then?" Father suggested more brightly.

"In the afternoon!" Vincent looked directly at him, a twinkle inhis eye. "You clearly wish to seize your chance to beat me!"

"Er, not at all, Vincent. Even distracted as you are, I wouldn'trate my chances of winning to be very high." Then in a much morefatherly tone he enquired, "Is Catherine well?"

"Yes, Father, quite well." Vincent knew that she was also quitenear, perhaps in the Park above them. "She has... We have a lot onour minds - but please don't worry."

Father hovered - not knowing whether to stay or leave - untilVincent said, quite casually:

"Catherine tells me that she has written to Laura."

"Oh good. How is she?"

"I do not know, Laura has not replied yet." Vincent's attentionseemed drawn to the ceiling and Father decided that this would be agood time to leave.

"I'll see you later at dinner," he said as he left Vincent'schamber, but his words were not acknowledged.

It was one of those rare occasions when Catherine left the officeearly. It was a pleasant afternoon for the time of year and shethought a walk through the Park in daylight would help her to clearher mind, so she strolled along 5th Avenue to the 72nd Streetentrance. Just to her left there was a children's play area, one ofseveral dotted through the Park, and Catherine's attention was drawnto a little boy of about four years old who was swinging one-armedaround one of the faded red and yellow poles. He was pretending to bean aeroplane.

Catherine walked over to the picnic benches and sat down there toread Laura's letter. There hadn't been time that morning so she hadshoved it into her bag for later.

Dear Catherine

It is a long time since we last wrote to each other and I am ashamed to say that I didn't reply to your last letter. I am sure you know how fast the days speed by. Jerry and I are well and very busy. Jerry now works for the government on a drugs rehabilitation program with the deaf.

I am glad that Joe is finding you plenty of work, it will keep you out of mischief. As for my new job, it certainly keeps me on my toes. I love being with the children and have started a drama group two evenings a week after school with the older children.

This year we will not miss Winterfest, Jerry and I will be coming to New York, so can I take up your offer of somewhere to stay? I would be only too happy to stay with my family Below but, Jerry is going to find it all very strange. Vincent told me that he hoped to meet Jerry one day so, now he understands the need for secrecy, the time seems to have presented itself. We were sorry to have missed last year's celebrations but perhaps the delay has given me the time to prepare Jerry.

You say Vincent is well, but no more. Haven't you two decided to `name the day' yet? Jerry keeps telling me we should marry and have a family, but I am unsure. Not unsure about spending the rest of my life with Jerry, there is no one else I would want to be with. I find it difficult to think of having children without a great sense of fear. How I miss having you and Vincent to talk to when I am worried. Jerry just doesn't understand.

Did Vincent ever tell you how I was found abandoned in the Park? For my parents, the thought of raising a deaf child proved too much. How can I make Jerry understand what it feels like to know that my own mother and father rejected me then dumped me like a bag of garbage? The doctors tell me it is likely that any children we have will be hearing-impaired in some way. For most of my life I have lived alone in my world of silence, there was no one Below like me. How can I condemn any child to that same loneliness? How can I bring a child into a world which will give only rejection as a return for the child's differences? Jerry cannot understand my reluctance but then it is not surprising, he is a hearing man in a hearing world. Jerry is not reminded every day of the things which set him apart as I am, he is not like me, he is not deaf.

Catherine shivered. Laura's fears and her own were runningparallel. She looked again at the little boy, in a world of his own.He seemed quite happy but she wondered if he could be happy for therest of his life, alone, pretending to be something else.

She continued reading.

Can you understand, Catherine? Perhaps not. Jerry and I don't argue about this, but there are times when it stands between us like a solid wall and I worry if it will eventually push us apart. I love him so much and I know he loves me. Perhaps in time we will resolve things and both be content in our decision. Our love will help us find the way. It must!

"Oh yes, Laura, it must!" Catherine surprised herself. She didn'tmean to say that out loud. She looked to see if the little boy hadheard - but he was gone.

I have talked far too much about myself. I should offer my congratulations about the Nolan case. It made the newspapers here and I proudly boasted, `Catherine Chandler is my friend', to everyone at work. You did well to get the second degree murder conviction. Does this mean you will be doing more court work and less leg work now? If so, I know Vincent will be much happier, he has never liked the risks you take when you investigate these difficult cases. Still you don't need me to tell you that, do you?

I can't tell you more about Jerry's job, I know so little because of the confidential nature of the work. However I know he often works with the families of his deaf clients and he enjoys that.

We shall be with you in a couple of months for the celebrations, that is if the offer of accommodation still stands. Do write soon and let me know how everyone is. Give my love to my family and friends, tell them all they are often in my thoughts and always in my heart.

Until I hear from you,

With much love,

Laura

As Catherine finished reading Laura's letter a small voice brokeinto her thoughts.

"Now I have told you before, if you don't behave you will be sentto bed AT ONCE."

Looking up, Catherine saw, at the other end of the bench, a littlegirl wagging her finger at her doll. A pretty little girl with curlyblonde hair and blue eyes. Such blue eyes!

Quickly, Catherine folded the letter and stood up to walk away.She began to go left, towards the zoo, but there were sure to be morechildren there so she decided instead to walk the other way acrossthe broad sloping lawn towards the model sailboat pond.

As she walked, she thought of Laura and Jerry with children - itdidn't seem to matter whether the children were deaf or not - theywould be loved. She had to tell Laura that her children would not be`condemned' as she put it, to loneliness as long as they had love.Being deaf was an `acceptable' difference. You can't tell thatsomeone is deaf just from looking at them. But Vincent's children...what would they be like? Would she ever know?

As she reached the far end of the pond she came to the bronzegroup `The Mad Tea-Party'. A young boy had climbed The Mad Hatter andwas sitting on his hat, whilst a little girl was crawling in and outof the giant mushrooms under the table. Not far away there was asmall group of children listening to a clown, dressed in motley andfull make-up, singing to them. Catherine had seen him there before onweekday afternoons. She walked around the pond to the other sidewhere the bronze figure of Hans Christian Anderson sat, book on knee.His audience today, besides the duckling, were two small children,brother and sister, Catherine thought, and their mother. Anotherbrother was sitting on the statue's right knee and reading from theopen book in his best theatre voice.

"`What sort of a one are you?' they asked; and the Duckling turnedin every direction and bowed as well as it could. `You are remarkablyugly!' said the Wild Ducks. `But that is indifferent to us, so longas you do not marry into our family'."

Catherine couldn't bear it. She ran, she ran towards home becauseshe couldn't risk going to Vincent in broad daylight.

At home she couldn't settle. She put on some music; Schubert'sUnfinished Symphony and as she remembered that wonderful night in therain with Vincent, when they had been so happy, she gradually relaxedand fell asleep.

Long slender fingers moved silently.

"Stop!" they signed. "Enough!" Tears of mirth ran down Laura'scheeks as those same fingers lifted a tissue to dry the darkexpressive eyes. Joining with her laughter the small group ofteenagers sat around the stage.

It was said that the greater the disaster at the dress rehearsal,the greater the success of the performance and the school drama grouphoped this would be true for them. This whole afternoon had been onemishap after another and as the scenery toppled around them, Laurahad been forced to call a halt. Poor Janice! She had struggled sowith the yards of skirt which made up the period costume she wore asit caught on everything. Props had been swept aside, trees felled andnow a whole building had tumbled as she had tried to walk gracefullythrough the doorway. She looked at Laura.

"Do I have to wear this dress?" she pleaded.

The swift hands of the teacher replied, "Sorry, but we can't haveGeorge Washington's wife in jeans and a sweatshirt."

Calling Peter over, Laura asked if anything could be done with thescenery to anchor it at the base and hold it from above. She was toldnot to worry. He assured her that he would sort something out. Healso pointed out that the play was supposed to be a comedy anyway.Laura gave him a playful push, whereupon he overbalanced and ended upon the floor at her feet! This was the final straw for everyone.Giggles and laughter filled the large hall, echoing around the room,mocking the deaf ears on which it fell.

No more would be achieved by continuing now and there was alwaystomorrow afternoon.

"Can you all come in for one o'clock tomorrow?" Laura asked.Everyone could so it was decided to run through it again then.

Laura felt exhausted but she thought that walking home might bemore refreshing than a journey on crowded public transport. As shestrolled along she received a few puzzled stares as she chuckled toherself about the events of the last few hours. Soon she was turningthe key in the lock of her own front door, longing for a leisurelysoak in a hot bath.

Jerry was already home and hearing the front door open, he walkedto meet her. She looked so weary as she stepped into the hallway, buther bright eyes still danced when she saw him waiting there.

"Hard day?" he questioned.

She grimaced.

"That bad!" He wrapped his arms about her and kissed her on thetop of her head.

"Vincent always did that," she told him, disentangling herselffrom his arms so that she could use her hands.

"I'm glad I'm going to meet him at last. You mention him so often,I feel I ought to know him," Jerry signed.

"There is a lot more you need to know about him before you meethim," Laura replied, as she took off her coat and kicked off hershoes.

Leading her towards the bathroom, Jerry answered, "Then you cantell me all about him whilst you soak away your aches and pains."

The fingers wove their words in a slower tempo now. "How is itthat you always seem to know just what I need, Jerry?"

He beamed at her. "That is my secret and it's staying that way,"and he lifted her into his arms and carried her to the bathroom whileshe snuggled against him.

When Catherine stirred it was already dark, but even before sheopened her eyes she was aware of the gentle fragrance of leather andcandlewax. She lifted her eyes towards the balcony where she expectedto see Vincent waiting - but she was disappointed.

"Catherine," the gentle voice came from inside the room. Vincentwas standing in the corner, just beside the door. "I wondered whenyou would wake."

"Vincent! How long have you been there?"

"Not long, Catherine... forever."

"Why didn't you wake me?"

"You needed to sleep." Vincent remained rooted to the spot.

"Come here," Catherine urged. "I need a hug." Then, as hehesitated, she added, "It's quite safe!"

Vincent stepped forwards and as she stood up he took her in hisarms and held her close. "What was it that upset you this afternoon?"he asked softly.

"Oh, nothing much," she lied. "Just something I saw in the park.I'm okay now."

Vincent knew that she was keeping something back but he wasprepared to let it pass if that was her wish.

"I've had a reply from Laura," Catherine went on. "She and Jerryare both coming to Winterfest!"

"Wonderful. At last I can meet him."

"They are going to stay with me; Laura thought it best as it'sJerry's first time."

"Yes, I think that is wise."

"I'll take some time off work while they're here, if it's okaywith Joe." Just then, Catherine noticed that the stereo was stillswitched on and it gave her an idea. "Vincent... I was listening tosomething earlier. Will you sit down with me now while I play therecord again?"

"Er... yes... all right. What is it?"

"Just listen," and she ushered him to the couch. She watched himclosely from beside the stereo as the opening bars played. He liftedhis head slightly as he recognised the piece, then he turned towardsher and his face lit up in a broad smile.

"Come and sit with me," he invited and Catherine's heart turned asomersault, not because of what he said, but because of where he waswhen he said it.

Vincent sensed the joy in her at that moment and it pleasedhim.

It was very late when Vincent sauntered back along the tunnels. Hetoo, felt that the evening's events had been something of amilestone. A week ago he would not have entered Catherine's apartmentunless pressed. But tonight they had spent the evening listening tomusic and talking as though his presence there was commonplace. Hewas actually smirking with the satisfaction of this when heencountered Mouse, scurrying along in a world of his own.

"You are about very late, Mouse. Is something wrong?"

"Nothing wrong." The young man fell into step with Vincent."Couldn't sleep. Went for a walk." Then, after a pause he asked, "Youbeen with Catherine?"

"Yes," Vincent answered lovingly.

Mouse's face took on the kind of expression one associates withthe sight of a kitten or a small puppy - or in Mouse's case a babyraccoon!

"Catherine has heard from Laura," Vincent added.

"Laura!" Mouse's enthusiasm was obvious.

"Yes. She and Jerry are coming to Winterfest."

"Neat! Like Laura."

"Yes, I'm looking forward to seeing Jerry too."

"Seen him," Mouse announced. "...Didn't see me though."

"Oh, when?" Vincent enquired.

"Long time ago," was all the information given. Then Mouse added,rather seriously, "Better warn Pascal!"

"Oh yes, of course, I hadn't thought of that!"

Vincent thought it was probably too late tonight but he might stopby the pipe-chamber as Pascal had been known to fall asleep there.Mouse, who was already preoccupied with some plan or other, turned toVincent and with a brief "Got to go. Things to do," he was gone.

"Pascal... Do you ever leave the pipe-chamber?"

"Hello, Vincent. I like to stay here late some nights. You canhear things when the pipes are quiet that can't be heard during theday. The tone has a different quality at night.. And sometimes one ofthe helpers sends a message.."

"...And you don't want to miss anything." There was laughter inVincent's voice. "I have some news for you," he added, still smiling."Laura is coming for Winterfest. Mouse thought I should `WARN'you!"

"Oh... yes... It will be good to see her but I'm going to be introuble! Will you help me, Vincent... please?"

"Of course I will, but we don't have very long. I expect you willwant to have your lessons here!"

Pascal just smiled and nodded. Vincent continued,

"I will ask Rebecca to help too - she may have some time to spareand it will do you good to practice with different people."

Dear Laura

It's great news that you're coming to Winterfest. Everyone Below is pleased about it; Vincent says Mouse retreated to his chamber and won't let anyone near, so I don't know what he's cooking up for you! Pascal is working hard so you won't be cross with him and Father is delighted that at last he can welcome Jerry into the family properly.

I wanted to take some time off work after the celebrations in the hope that you could stay on for a week or so but Joe is going to be away that week so I can't. Could you come for a week before Winterfest? I know the schools will be off then so you should have no trouble but of course it will depend on what Jerry is doing. I do hope you can come early and of course you will stay with me - in fact I'll move out into the living room so you can feel at home. I want you both to feel comfortable here, treat the place as your own.

I have some plans for our time together but I will also leave you some free time to go out or stay in, whichever you want. I know how important my time with Vincent is and I expect it's the same for you too.

I'm sorry that you are worried about having children in case they are deaf. If I remember right, Jerry told me that both his parents were deaf so there is every chance your children won't be. But I expect he has already told you that. Anyway Laura, even if you have a child that is deaf, that child is not going to be lonely or isolated because it will have the love and care of two wonderful people and the understanding which your own parents couldn't give to you. I think they were probably more frightened than uncaring, afraid that they couldn't give you all that you needed. Please don't hate them for that and please don't punish yourself and Jerry for what they did by denying yourselves children.

When I look at Vincent, knowing how much we love each other and knowing at the same time that our love can never be made into a person, I think I know real loneliness. I never knew that it was possible to be secure and happy in someone's love and still be lonely. Once in a while I feel that just a small step towards togetherness has been taken but I can't push Vincent or I know he'll pull away. You see Laura, we don't know what may happen if we `marry'. Vincent hasn't said so but I believe he's afraid he would hurt me. And any children we might have - well who can say? I've never discussed this with him because if I did I think it would do more harm than good. He cares about me so deeply that if he thought he was causing me pain he might go away - or send me away. He did that once before and I couldn't bear it to happen again.

You and Jerry have so much going for you. You are in love and happy - there is no reason for you to build walls between you. You say Jerry doesn't understand but have you tried to explain? Can I help at all? I'll talk to Jerry if you think it will help, but I won't say anything unless you ask me to.

Maybe the break here, away from work, will help you both to resolve things. I'm really looking forward to seeing you both again. Have you told Jerry about Vincent? I thought he could be here to meet him when you arrive, if you like. Let me know if you think it's a good idea.

Write soon

Love

Catherine

Vincent was intrigued as he followed Mouse to his chamber. Nobodyhad been allowed near for days and Vincent was curious to know the`secret' that Mouse now wanted to share with him.

"Promise not to tell," Mouse commanded.

"I promise."

"Not even Catherine," Mouse added more gently, as though he knewhow difficult it was to keep something from one so dear.

"Not even Catherine," Vincent assured him.

"It's for Laura," the young man announced triumphantly as theyentered his chamber.

"I thought so."

"You knew!" Mouse looked suddenly deflated.

"No, Mouse, I guessed - but I have told no one, I promise you."Vincent knew that Catherine had guessed too but he wanted Mouse toenjoy his secret so he said nothing.

Mouse bustled off to the corner of his chamber and came back withsomething wrapped in a piece of cloth.

"Found it. Thrown away. Mended it. Painted it," he said as heslowly unwrapped the precious gift and placed it on the bench forVincent to see. "Works now," he added as he picked it up, turned thekey in its back and replaced it on the bench.

As Vincent watched, the little tin soldier began to move his armsso that the tiny drumsticks beat alternately on the tin drum. He wasunable to speak, his eyes welled with tears and he turned to look atMouse.

Mouse smiled disarmingly. "Will she like it?" he asked.

"Mouse, she will love it," Vincent said and he hugged his youngfriend close. "It's beautiful, really beautiful."

Dear Catherine

I was so pleased to receive your letter. Jerry and I are both looking forward to Winterfest, although I think Jerry is feeling apprehensive. We would love to spend a few days with you before the celebrations and expect to arrive at your place on Tuesday evening about nine o'clock.

Perhaps you are right about my parents, but I will never know, will I? This will always cause me doubts. Sometimes, not knowing can be worse than the truth. From your letter I can see that you do understand the loneliness I feel at times. I love Jerry very much, yet these fears eat away at me. I had not realised that problems existed between you and Vincent, but you should never doubt his love. Remember, I saw the man who walked alone, witnessed the change in him after you came into his life. He changed, Catherine, when he realised that you loved him there was a new confidence, a new assurance. He knew he would no longer be alone.

I think it is sad that he will not allow you nearer than you are and I am sure this hurts him as much as it hurts you.

Jerry and I do need time to resolve our differences. Thank you for the offer to speak to him but, no, I have to find my own way.

I have tried, as best I can, to prepare Jerry for all the unusual things he will see, including Vincent. So yes, please ask Vincent to be there when we arrive, it will be wonderful to see him again.

We will be with you soon,

Love

Laura.

"What time did Laura say they'd be here?" Vincent asked for thethird time.

"Around nine - Vincent, please - why don't you just sit down andrelax?"

"It's foolish I know... but I'm nervous!"

Catherine couldn't hide her amusement. Never had she seen Vincentso agitated. It reminded her of the boy who took her to her SeniorProm, just before he met her father!

"Vincent, I know how special Laura is to you and you want Jerry tolike you - but you needn't worry - really." Catherine tried to thinkof a way to make him relax. "Here, come and sit down," she soothed."There is something you can do for me."

Vincent did as he was asked and watched Catherine disappear intothe bedroom. She returned almost immediately holding a hairbrush.Vincent looked worried; what was she planning? He held his breath butCatherine sat on the floor at his feet and handed the brush to himover her shoulder. Without looking at him, she said softly:

"Please, Vincent... I love having my hair brushed... When I waslittle, I would sit... like this... at my mother's feet. For so longthere's been no-one I could ask."

Vincent smiled as he took the brush from her. Uncertain at first,he gently allowed the bristles to glide over the back of herhair.

"You won't hurt me, Vincent," Catherine assured him.

He marvelled at her trust as he looked at his hands. Against thesmooth softness of her hair they looked out of place - but shetrusted him - he knew that. He summoned his courage and with one longsmooth stroke he brushed a column of her hair so that it lay acrossthe palm of his other hand.

"Your hair!" he breathed. "It is like silk!"

"Thank you. I'm glad you like it," Catherine replied, trying tosound casual - but as he laid the hair down on her shoulders hisfingers brushed her neck and she shuddered. Vincent was acutely awareof the reaction provoked by his touch but his own response wascontrolled as usual. He resumed his task, reverently and with wonderin his eyes. Catherine wanted to see that look but could not do sowithout foregoing his touch and she was not willing to do that.

Neither wanted this new nearness to end.

All too soon, it seemed, there was a knock at the door and Vincentfroze.

"They're here!" His voice was barely audible.

"Stay there while I let them in," Catherine instructed as she roseto her feet. She peeped round the door to see Laura and Jerry smilingat her. "Yes, it's them," she said, turning towards the empty couch."Vincent! Where have you gone? Oh well..." and she undid the chainand opened the door wide. Laura launched herself at Catherine andhugged her for a long time.

"Hi, Jerry," Catherine said over Laura's shoulder. "Goodjourney?"

"Not bad I s'pose, but New York cabbies don't improve!"

Laura let go of Catherine to ask, "Where is Vincent?"

"I think he's gone out on the balcony," Catherine replied andLaura hurried out to find him. When they came back in, both werelaughing with their arms round each other - and Vincent was stillholding the hairbrush!

Catherine watched the look on Jerry's face change from surprise topure awe.

"Jerry, meet Vincent. Vincent, this is Jerry," she said gently asVincent stepped towards him.

"I am delighted to meet you at last," Vincent said, withremarkable composure. Only when Jerry offered his hand did Vincent tothe same. Jerry became aware that he was staring open-mouthed atVincent.

"I'm sorry," he said suddenly, shaking his head in disbelief.

"It's all right," Vincent replied. "But didn't Laura tell you Iwas... different?"

"Yes... but not how big!" and Jerry began to laugh. "We shall beGOOD friends," he said. "I wouldn't want YOU for an enemy!"

The ice was broken. Laura moved to stand between Catherine andJerry and placing an arm around each of them she pulled them closeand beamed at Vincent.

"Do you want to settle in first, or go Below now?" Vincent signed.Laura chose to stay put for the evening so that Vincent and Jerrycould get to know each other better and she and Catherine could catchup with their news.

Catherine suggested phoning for a pizza and they all agreed -although Vincent wasn't sure, he said he'd try it. Much later, whenCatherine went with Vincent onto the balcony to say goodnight, hesaid that he liked Jerry very much - but he wasn't too keen on pizza.Then, as he held Catherine close, he spoke softly into her hair.

"Catherine... will you do something for me?"

"Of course I will."

"Not now, but sometime... will you... brush my hair for me?"

"If we set off early we can go through the basement without beingseen."

"Okay," Jerry agreed as Catherine left two cups of coffee by thebedside. He slowly turned to put his arm round Laura. As she snuggledinto his embrace she opened her eyes and smiled, `good morning'. Sheglanced past him at the clock and grimacing, she closed her eyesagain.

"Come on," he shook her gently and she sat up.

"Okay," she nodded, then signed, "Race you for the bathroom."

Catherine was already showered and dressed and was rolling up herbedding. She paused to smile when she heard the rumpus coming fromthe other room. Jerry emerged, defeated.

"What's the drill?" he asked as he sipped his coffee.

"We can get into the tunnels below this building. Vincent willmeet us and walk with us - it's quite a long way but you'll love it!It's like nothing you've ever seen... What has Laura told you aboutthe tunnels?"

"It's not so much what she's told me as the... change that comesover her when she thinks of `home'. She `glows', y'know?"

"Yes! I do!" Catherine said dreamily.

"So do you!" Jerry added with a grin, then after a moment, said,"I've tried to picture the world Below in my mind, but I can onlythink of the Batcave and Ninja Turtles!"

Catherine laughed with him. "You'd better not tell Fatherthat!"

Laura put her head round the door.

"I think the bathroom's free now," Catherine told Jerry and hewent through to get ready.

As Catherine stepped off the ladder, Vincent was already greetingLaura and Jerry. "We are to go straight to Father's chamber," hesaid. "No doubt others will arrive to meet you later on."

That journey was for Jerry, the most magical journey he had evermade. He could now see and feel the `glow' for himself. Laura keptlooking at him and nudging Catherine and smiling at his reactions toher home. Jerry spun round as a brick was replaced in apeep-hole.

"What was that?"

"Just a look-out," Catherine explained. "It's important to keepthis place safe - we have to know if anyone is here."

"Do not be alarmed," Vincent added. "The pipes are alreadyspeaking of our approach."

"The pipes..." Jerry mused. "Laura told me about the pipes. Thethought of them fascinates me."

"Well!" Vincent laughed, "Pascal will take great pleasure intelling you anything you wish to know about them."

As they stepped into Father's chamber, Jerry's mouth fell open.His eyes slowly traced a path from the mountains of books piled onthe ornately carved desk in front of him round bookcases that wereoverflowing. There was every size of candle in candleholders of allkinds, from a single stem to elaborate candelabra. There was an oillamp, a Tiffany lamp, a figurehead, something that looked like asmall telescope, and in the centre of the room, a spiral staircaseleading up to more shelves piled high with yet more books! And thewhole room `glowed'. Jerry blinked.

"Forget the Batcave - THIS is fantastic!"

"I beg your pardon?" Father's voice was puzzled.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Jerry realised what he had said.

Catherine rescued him. "Father, may I introduce you to JerryDinelli. Jerry, this is Jacob Wells but we..."

"Please, call me Jacob OR Father, whichever you prefer," Fathercut in.

"Pleased to meet you Sir. I already think of you as Father... ifthat's okay?"

"Yes, of course... Please come in and make yourselves at home.Laura, welcome my dear. How are you?"

Vincent undertook his usual role as interpreter for Father whilstJerry signed his own part of the conversation. Catherine's signingwas still rather basic and Vincent helped her out. Laura was also avery good lip-reader so she didn't miss anything.

Mary brought tea and stayed. As Vincent had predicted the numbersgradually swelled as the time passed. William came to ask if Jerryhad a favourite kind of cake - and stayed. Jamie brought a messagefrom Mouse - and stayed. It was late morning when Samantha came toask Father when he would take their lesson.

"Goodness, I forgot. I'm sorry, Samantha. I will be theredirectly." Then Father asked Jerry, "Would you like to sit in? Youand Laura?"

Jerry looked for Laura's approval and she shrugged a `yes', so thethree of them made their way to the school chamber.

"No Laura, don't shut me out because..." She read no more as hereyes closed making it impossible for the argument to continue. Whenshe opened them again, Jerry had gone. Now she was alone andfrightened, just as she had been the first time she had stayed inCatherine's apartment. Tonight Catherine was still Below and Jerry?Laura knew that she had effectively sent him away. The silent hoursdragged by. She waited, watching the fingers of the clock creepquietly through the tear-filled minutes of the night. This was thefirst time they had actually exchanged anger and bitterness overtheir future. As soon as children had been mentioned Laura had closedherself inside the safety of her silence.

When Jerry returned home some hours later, he was drunk. Laurabegan to cry again - this was a Jerry she did not know.

"Why?" she signed.

"Why what?" he questioned. "Why did I go out, or why did I getdrunk?"

"Both."

"Because it's the only way I can cope with this. You refuse toeven discuss the possibility of a family. Whenever I try, you useyour deafness against me, to distance me, and there is nothing I cando."

"You don't understand!" her hands told him.

"NO. No, Laura," he replied. "I don't. You know I would doanything for you. If I could tear off my ears I would do!"

She turned away. Jerry moved unsteadily to stand in front of heragain.

"If you love me now, if you have ever loved me, then you MUST letme tell you how I feel!"

Laura sat on the couch and turned her tear-stained face up tosearch his eyes. She nodded her assent and he knelt at her feet.

"There is no way for me to enter your world of silence," hecontinued. "Just as you can't be a part of the hearing world I wasborn into. It is not you who's different, we're both different,different from each other. But there is one place where we standtogether, where we are equals, where neither language nor silencedivides us. That place is in our love - and that is the place whereany child of ours would live and grow. It's not the world's rejectionof our child that worries you so much - it's mine. Whether you acceptit or not that is the truth. You don't have enough faith in me, inus, to believe the three of us could live in our love and be happythere."

Jerry's eyes filled and tears began to trickle down his cheeks ashe rose to his feet and made his way to the bedroom.

When Jerry woke next morning there was a note on Laura'spillow.

"I do love you. I need to think. Have gone Below, but I'll be back before lunch.

Love, Laura xx."

Only the gentle tapping on the pipes could be heard as Lauragreeted Pascal.

"Hello, Pascal," she signed. "I hear you have been studying atlast!"

"Hello, Laura," he signed back. "Good to see you. Are youwell?"

"Yes, thank you. Are you?"

"Yes, I'm well, but nervous - this is like an exam!" Pascalthought to himself, That's it now - everything I've practised - ifshe wants more, I'll be lost!

"Very good!" Laura was laughing now. "You HAVE done well. Vincenttells me you are training Zak to `conduct' the pipes. Where ishe?"

"Oh," said Pascal as he tried desperately to think what the signwas for `kitchen'. "Z-A-K ... with... W-I-L-L-I-A-M... helping...with the food," and he breathed a sigh of relief.

"Can I just stay here for a while?" Laura asked. "You don't haveto talk to me. I'd just like to feel the pipes - I do miss them!"

"Do you?" Pascal was more than a little surprised that someoneelse felt as he did.

Laura just smiled and nodded.

"Of course you can stay," Pascal said as he just signed, "Yes,please stay."

Some time later, safely in the Mousehole, Laura gazed in wonder aswith a theatrical gesture, Mouse took the cloth away. Beneath it, ona once silvered cake stand `he' stood waiting. His red coat gleamedwith the gloss of new paint, the dark trousers tapered to black shinyboots. The neat moustache curled at the ends onto a skin-toned face.Drum ready he stood waiting to display his talents and Mouse'singenuity.

The young man leant forwards, gently holding the soldier steady,he turned the key in his back. The spring tightened. The soldier wasreleased from his repairer's hold and his arms began to beat out aneven rhythm on the small tin drum he carried. Laura was delighted.She placed a finger and thumb on either side of the tiny drum andfelt the steady pulse beating beneath her touch.

Quickly, she threw her arms around her friend in a wordless thankyou for his thoughtfulness and his love. Communication between themhad always been easy and Laura's tears spoke with such strength thatMouse felt her delight reverberate through the chamber with adeafening intensity.

Her slender fingers moved through the air in a silent `thank you,he's beautiful', then she lifted the little tin man from the benchand held him up to study him. She marvelled at the care with which hehad been renovated and smiled at the stern little face lookingblankly back at her.

But as he moved, the candlelight flickered and she was sure as thelight played across his features, her little soldier winked at her,just once.

Vincent looked up from the book as the figure of the young womanappeared in the doorway. She looked a little lost, he thought.

"Come in, Laura," he beckoned.

She was cradling her present from Mouse, wrapped in its piece ofcloth but she did not offer to open it. Clearly she had some otherpurpose and Vincent could not guess what it might be. She placed herprecious parcel on the table and drew an envelope from herpocket.

"I think you should read this," she told him as he took theenvelope from her and studied the familiar writing.

"From Catherine," he observed. "But this is addressed to you,Laura."

"I WANT you to read it," Laura urged. "Please."

Vincent began to read. As he did so he wondered what was soimportant, then he came to `...please don't punish yourself and Jerryfor what they did by denying yourselves children.'

"Are you punishing yourselves?" he asked gently.

"Read on," she instructed.

Tears stung Vincent's eyes as he heard Catherine say, `I neverknew that it was possible to be secure and happy in someone's loveand still be lonely.' He blinked and looked up, not at Laura but at apoint above them where he knew Catherine to be. Laura watched,sharing his torment. Vincent finished reading. He knew Catherine'spain - the reason for it and he wept. Laura stood beside him now -she put an arm around him and gathering her parcel she moved toleave. As she looked back there was a tear in her eye too.

"Thank you, Laura," Vincent managed as she left him to hissorrow.

How could he endure this? He MUST - somehow.

`He might go away - or send me away. He did that once before and Icouldn't bear it to happen again.' Catherine's words were swimming inhis head. He was not angry though, nor bitter. He felt tremendouscompassion for the way in which she bore her sorrow - hid it fromeveryone - even him.

But what could he do? Through the mist he looked at his hands,turned them over and back again. What COULD he do to banish herloneliness? He felt helpless. He, of all people, helpless! As themist cleared, his eyes focused on the book, lying there innocentlyall this time. And he saw the words:

`What is all this sweet work worth,

If thou kiss not me?'

Vincent picked up the book and held it close - held it as if itwere Catherine.

Jerry was in the shower when Catherine returned from shopping.Laura looked up as she spotted her out of the corner of her eye. Asshe carried the bags into the tiny kitchen, Catherine noticed thesmall toy on the table in front of Laura. Once the groceries weresafely stored away she draped her coat over the back of the couch andknelt down to take a closer look. The little tin soldier beat hissteady rhythm, slowed, then stopped.

"He is beautiful!" Catherine said, forgetting, in her admiration,that Laura would not hear.

Laura lip-read well and signed, "From Mouse."

Jerry came into the room, dressed in a grey tracksuit and rubbinghis hair with a towel. "Saying hello to our new family member?" heasked.

"Yes, I am. Isn't he wonderful?" Catherine replied.

Laura turned as she saw Catherine speaking to someone behind her.She stood, picked up her gift and gazed at Jerry. A clear message oflove passed between them. Laura signed something but Catherine missedthe meaning, so she looked to Jerry for an interpretation. The youngman smiled.

"Laura wants to know if you have a suitable box she could have forher little friend."

"Yes," Catherine signed. "Please wait," then she vanished into thebedroom.

Jerry walked over to Laura and taking her chin in his hand hesaid, "I love you." These were words Laura knew well and needed nosign. Her eyes gave the affirmation of her love for him and he benthis head and kissed her. Catherine stopped in the doorway, then madea noisy entrance so that at least Jerry would know she was there. Shegave Laura a box and some tissue paper. The soldier fitted perfectlyinto his new home.

"Thank you," Laura signed.

"Well, we wouldn't want him to get damaged on the way home,"Catherine told her. Jerry translated and again, Laura's answer wastoo fast for Catherine.

"She wants the box to put him away at home," Jerry explained. Thenhe turned to Laura. His question: "Why?" needed no translation.

Nor did Laura's reply. "To keep it safe for the baby."

Jerry's eyes filled with tears and he threw his arms around Laura,lifted her off the floor and spun her round. The little man almostfell, box and all, so Catherine rescued it and placed it safely onthe table.

"When?" Jerry signed as he lowered his precious burden to thefloor.

"Straight away," Laura answered, beaming.

Catherine picked up her coat, her bag and her keys and quietlyleft - just in case Jerry decided to take Laura's wordsliterally.

Three tricolour candles lay on the coffee table. Catherinetenderly lifted one and studied it. `Can you hear it?' she rememberedand music played in her head. Music that only she and Vincent hadheard - the sweetest music because only they had heard it. Her heartdanced.

She felt a hand on her shoulder and she looked up. Laura'sexpression echoed her own thoughts.

"I love Winterfest," Catherine said as she carefully replaced thecandle and rose to face Laura. "You look wonderful!" she admired."That colour really suits you."

Laura feigned modesty, then twirled round for Catherine to see thefull effect.

"Will you be warm enough?" Catherine asked. "I have a spare shawlif you would like to wear it."

"Yes, please," Laura answered.

When Jerry made his entrance he looked very smart indeed. "Well!"he said, stopping in his tracks. "Look at my date! Isn't shegorgeous? Oh... not that you don't look terrific too, Cathy," headded apologetically.

"That's okay," Catherine forgave him. "I understand. I just hopeVincent is as impressed with my dress!"

"Oh, he will be!" Jerry assured her.

"I'll just get our shawls, then we're ready to go. We are a littleearly but I expect Vincent will be waiting anyway."

Catherine descended the ladder first and Laura made Jerry wait aminute or so before they followed.

The sight of Catherine as she stepped into view took Vincent'sbreath away. He could remember every occasion when she had eitherarrived or parted from him through that shaft of light and each onehad its own special joy... or pain. He wondered how she couldpossibly be more beautiful than before. He wanted to hold her andkeep holding her... forever.

"Vincent?" Her voice was soft as a breeze. "Can I take that as acompliment?" She slipped her arms inside his cloak and he gatheredher to him.

"Catherine... you are beautiful... so beautiful." He could find noother words to express all that he felt and hoped that she wouldunderstand. She did.

"Thank you, Vincent." She stepped back to look at him. "So areyou." Vincent smiled at this, then Catherine added, "Wait 'til yousee Laura!"

Jerry took Laura's hand as she stepped off the bottom rung andescorted her to where Vincent and Catherine stood.

"Isn't she gorgeous?" he repeated proudly. Vincent smiled andnodded - he too, felt pride in seeing the young woman that Laura hadbecome. "I must be the luckiest man in New York," Jerry boasted.

"Almost," Vincent answered, very softly, as he looked intoCatherine's eyes.

The unspoken love that passed between them did not go unnoticed.Laura took Jerry's arm and gently steered him along the tunnel sothat Vincent and Catherine could follow. As they walked she explainedto him about the candle ceremony that would begin the celebrations.Jerry didn't notice that Vincent and Catherine were lagging furtherand further behind.

Catherine realised that Vincent's pace was slowing but it wasn'tuntil her guests were almost out of sight that she understood thesignificance of this - and only then when it was `too late' -something she kicked herself for afterwards!

Vincent stood still and turned to look at her. She searched hiseyes, wondering why he had stopped. At first he looked as if he wasgoing to speak... but then changed his mind... then he bent his headtowards her and she thought he would speak after all... but hedidn't. Very gently, Vincent pressed his lips to hers in the mosttender of kisses. A chaste kiss. As he raised his head again andopened his eyes Catherine was gazing at him - stunned.

"Catherine?" he said, as if to wake her from a dream.

"Yes?" she replied - convinced that it WAS a dream.

"I believe... I should have... I HAVE wanted to... but..."

"I understand," Catherine soothed, having realised she was notdreaming. "You don't have to explain."

Vincent let out the breath he had been holding and smiled at hislove. "Of course," he said, bowing his head slightly. Catherine neverreally understood this response but she did not question it.

The couple resumed their walk, slowly at first, she nestling underhis arm. Vincent sensed the joy in Catherine and it pleased him. Thethought crossed her mind, I must wear this dress again.

Ahead of them, Mouse, having summoned all his courage, had come tomeet Laura. He expected Vincent and Catherine to be with her aswellas Jerry and looked a little put out when they were not. He almostturned back but Laura had seen him and her face lit up. Mouse hadn'tthe heart to go away and deep down he was proud to know he was sowelcome.

"This is Mouse," Laura told Jerry.

Jerry held out his hand but Mouse took a small step backwards andput both his hands behind his back. Jerry was accustomed in his workto this kind of reaction and responded with kindness.

"I was admiring your work earlier today," he said warmly. "I wishI had your skill and patience. Your present to Laura is beautiful andso thoughtful."

Mouse was visibly `preening' himself as Jerry spoke and he grew aninch taller as he received these compliments.

"Nothing really," he answered modestly. "Laura's my friend."

"I hope that one day you will count me as a friend too," Jerrytold him.

"So do I," Laura signed as she nodded to Mouse.

Mouse looked from one to the other then with a slight skip hesmiled broadly and said, "Okay good... okay fine."

Laura and Jerry were both laughing when a black and white tailcame into view along the tunnel, then just as quicklydisappeared.

"Did you see that?" Jerry said in disbelief. "It looked like... aracoon!"

"Arthur!" Mouse looked worried. "Shouldn't be out... PromisedFather," and he scurried off in pursuit of his `pet'.

Jerry couldn't believe it. "He keeps a pet racoon... downhere?"

"Yes," Laura replied. "But he's not so much a pet - more a roommate."

Vincent and Catherine were now quite near.

"Where did Mouse go?" Catherine asked as they caught up and thefour began to walk together.

"He went to catch Arthur!" Jerry told her.

Vincent laughed. "I hope he does. Father made him promise therewould not be a repeat of last year's incident."

Laura looked puzzled. "Why - what happened last year?" sheasked.

"Hasn't Catherine told you?" Laura shook her head. "Well..."Vincent continued. "I'm not sure of ALL the details... and there AREtwo sides to the story..."

There was almost a queue in the dimly lit passage when Vincent andCatherine arrived to begin the descent of the stone stairway.

"Ah, Vincent, Catherine, we are all ready and waiting," Fatherannounced.

Taking the lead, Vincent walked to the end of the tunnel with thewoman he loved by his side. Behind them, Jerry gasped as he saw thegrandeur before him. Laura squeezed his hand gently. Nothing couldhave prepared him for the vastness of this cavern and the stepsleading through it, they seemed to reach downwards forever. Theirprogress was slow as he gazed in awe about him.

At the entrance to the Great Hall, Vincent lifted the huge beamfrom its brackets and pushed the doors open wide. The wind howledaround them, telling its story of a timeless journey through cavernsand passages long forgotten by man. Now it was Jerry's turn tosqueeze Laura's hand. She beamed at him, then turned to Catherine.The two women exchanged a meaningful smile, conveying many unspokenmessages between them. Laura was in no doubt - something had beensaid or taken place between Catherine and Vincent which had changedthem. She raised an enquiring eyebrow at her friend and Catherine'ssilent nod confirmed that she was right.

Vincent turned from the doors and held out his hand to his love.She took it eagerly and reached also for Laura's. And so, hand inhand, lovers and friends, the four stepped forwards into the darknessand a future of infinite possibilities.